Ever hear someone say “you like a little pie with your sauce” when you or someone else is hosing down a meat pie with 10 litres of sauce? Probably not, but that idea comes to mind when watching this video. If you didn’t know that it was a Mountain Bike video, you’d probably make the assumption it is was cinematography video (think IMAX) with some Mountain Bikers thrown in. I don’t mind the idea of using some higher quality gear, trying out some new filming techniques etc but this goes way too far. The description should really say ‘this is a film about plants, trees, shrubs, guys who film and… oh yeah, a couple mountain bikers’. After this I’ll probably never get a DVD sent to me ever again, but at this point I don’t care. It is my duty to make sure people do not mistakenly buy this. Right now some of you are thinking ‘damn that’s harsh, could it really be that bad?’, or even ‘he has no respect for the time, effort and money they sunk into this’. Sure, I’d agree some degree to the second one, but it still doesn’t make the video any better. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest a formula to make a good Mountain Bike video.

• Step 1: Figure out what you are filming, and who your main audience is.
• Step 2: If it is a mountain bike film you should probably start looking for some good film subjects (people that can actually ride, not some C grade freeriders who I can see at any of my local trails any day of the week).
• Step 3: Worry more about the film subjects than the cool camera gear you hired, or made yourself.
• Step 4: Arrrgh I give up.

Strangely enough this is perhaps one of the easiest review I have written to date, I guess being angry makes me think clearly. Either way I think I’ve said enough. And for those that may have been kidnapped, strapped to a chair and forced to watch it, be relieved that it only runs for 28 minutes. Also, don’t bother trying to figure out what ‘clorophilla’ is, its not in the dictionary, and is hopefully not to be mistaken with this.

On the bright side, the scenery is nice...

28 minutes of spot the Mountain Biker!