PINT of Stella, mate!
24-01-2008, 10:51 PM
Well folks, tonight on MTF we've got a bit of a treat in store. A man who whilst being incredibly scathing and surly also manages to make me laugh till pee comes out. I'm of course talking about the great NCR600!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/NCR600.jpg
So tell us a bit about yourself. (Name, age, location etc.)
Name: Piers (yeah, poncy name I know, but I’m named after a dead Formula 1 driver and heir to a brewery, so think what you like)
Age: 35
Location: Northern Sydney
Occupation?
Toolmaker, engineer and misanthrope.
The pay in toolmaking is shit, but I enjoy my volunteer services to misanthropy immensely
So what made you pick NCR600 as a username?
It’s a reference to a stupid old Italian racing motorcycle I part own. It’s simple enough that I can’t forget it no matter what state I’m in and seeing as there is only one other bike in Australia and as near as I can work out another 3 worldwide, I’m not likely to run into anyone else with that name. I’m a bit sick of it now though!
And why on Earth did you choose Farkin to vent your spleen?
I stumbled across Farkin.net one day while surfing for porn, and stayed for the gay banter.
Honestly? I came here via Bike Addiction, recognized a good thing, and stayed. Kind of like being refused entry to a classy wine bar and ending up a permanent fixture propping up the bar in some old dive.
You’re renowned on Farkin for being a bit of a motorcycle nut, what did/do you ride? Where?
I’ve owned mostly stupid old Ducatis, but I’ve also had an assortment of mostly elderly Japanese machinery, Honda CB500 twin (horrible and slow) Honda 400 four (less slow, and had the wickedest looking 4-1 ever), VT 250, Yamaha 2 strokes and worst of all, a Yamaha R1 racebike. I worked in the industry for a few years, spent considerable time on racetracks (not as a racer though, cos I’m crap) and lost my licence 5 times in the early 1990’s. I have no interest in road riding these days due to the authorities and myself not being able to agree on what is a safe and reasonable speed for motorcycles.
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/Ducatti.jpg
a motorbike, yesterday.
Any scary ‘No shit, there I was, thought I was gonna die!’ biker stories for us?
Back when I bought my first Ducati (a horribly ratty, Matt Black, but mechanically excellent 1984 600 Pantah) I was into going to “rallies” which are really piss ups in the bush around a giant bonfire, where everyone drinks either cheap port or Stone’s Green Ginger Wine.
Anyway, being into old shitheaps, I wore a Norton Commando Tshirt. Late in the evening, when everyone was pretty much blind, I got surrounded by these 5 members of a particularly famous (for violence) outlaw motorcycle club who wanted to know about my Commando.
I admitted I never owned one, and these blokes decided I was some sort of poseur, try-hard or whatever. I don’t really remember what happened, but I seemingly turned them onside because I could talk about Nortons half intelligently, and my Ducati, while not being quite cool, wasn’t “Jap Crap” at least. I probably got away with it for the same reason I got away without being blackballed (think a scrubbing brush and a tin of nugget) as a Rally Virgin at my first rally. Sometimes being 6’3” is a decided advantage!
So how does the mountain biking fit in to all this?
Strange as it may now seem, I’ve been involved in MTB since 1994. Initially I took it up as a way to get fit in preparation for motorcycle racing. Since that time, I’ve entered at least 3 MTB races (all in 1996), and exactly zero motorcycle races. I’ve also hurt myself far more often, and far worse on a bicycle than I ever have on a motorcycle. MTB is an excellent sport, it combines ostentatious displays of wealth with the opportunity to obtain chick impressing scars, and the chance to meet hot Casualty nurses and spunky radiographers.
I love mountainbiking to death, in all it’s forms. I just wish I was good at some of it!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/NCRonaMTB.jpg
rare photo of an NCR600 in the wild
You’ve won 2nd prize in a beauty contest and the prize is a holiday anywhere in the world. Where’d you go, what’ll you do and who’d you take.
I’d probably go to some stanky music festival, like Emissions from the Monolith, (Youngstown Ohio, lately at Austin Texas) Roadburn (Amsterdam) or Duna (Sardinia). Wherever fat blokes with beards are appreciated basically. Maybe Antarctica. I think I’d take Tura Satana, Rosie the Riveter, or this chick who likes Barbeques with me
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/BBQ.jpg
(Thanks RCOH!)
Now you’re getting the reputation on Farkin as one who doesn’t really suffer fools gladly and you seem to be good at intimidating the young ‘uns. Nice work! So what’s pissing you off at the moment?
What isn’t? My favourite quote from a movie is from “Idiot Box” where Ben Mendehlsohn’s character shoots the barking Rottweiler and Jermey Sims’ charachter asks
“Do you have to be so fuckin’ angry all the time, you should get a hobby”
“It is me hobby”
So, what’s your favourite tipple?
Inner Circle OP rum (Full Strength 75% for special occasions) or Erdinger ‘Pinkatus’ Dunkel bier. It’s the beer Tooheys Old should be. Similar, but more intense flavours and 7% abv
Favourite bar(s)?
Dreadful dive bars like The Sando, The Annandale where they play live music. I also like The Century Tavern before they refurbished it, The Duke, and in Melbourne The Espy and The George. The POW used to be good until it went all upmarket!
Last time you were approached by the police?
I had just pulled into a local servo to fill up, when I noticed a cop car pull up behind me. I was in the process of filling up when a quite attractive female copper got out of the cop car, circled my car with her hand on her weapon, approached me and began asking me the standard copper intro to interrogation. “Here we go”, I thought
“Is this your vehicle sir?”
“yep”
“Can I see your ID?” etc etc
Finally after a good five minutes of questioning, she said “ OK, could you go over to the car, the other officer wants to speak to you”
Turned out it was my mate puppy walking a probationary constable. The prick. She was in on it too and thought it was a good laugh to see me sweat.
The time before that one of the neighbours had a whinge to the cops about me running the racebike up in the street. The copper they sent was a certified Ducati nut who was more interested in talking bikes than any possible breach of the law (of which there were plenty) No penalty was issued, and as the bike was technically still registered at the time, he booked it up as an overly sensitive neighbour complaining about nothing. Maybe I’m just getting old (or better at getting away with stuff), but I haven’t had a decent confrontation with the law in years.
What’s on your desk just now?
Phone, 2 computers (one monitor, the other computer powers the monitor) Full in tray, ¾ completed model of a Japanese Ki-115 Tsurugi suicide aircraft and a Laminated Loctite product Application guide. I’ve just had a tidy up, you should have seen the crap 2 weeks ago!
You’re also a bit of a Viz fan (and not averse to stealing the occasional joke from it either I might add) So what's so appealing about toilet humour? Any favourite characters?
I’ve kept my answers deliberately brief for this one!
My favourite Viz comic would have to be “The Drunken Bakers” (http://www.leehealey-cartoonist.com/page8.htm) It’s not funny. At all. It’s really quite a depressing, post modernist comic. Very, very black humour about 2 alcoholics who happen to own a bakery, although they never seem to get much baking done. It’s a little bit Maribou Stork Dreaming really. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when reading it.
I guess If I could be any Viz character, I’d be Baz out of “The Fat Slags” He always get laid, even if it is with San & Tray! In reality I’m probably a hybrid of 8 Ace, and Gilbert ratchet.
I truly love Viz. It’s proper multi layered comedy, not unlike “The Simpsons” ,except better. On the surface of it, there’s knob jokes and swear words, but if you dig deeper, there’s biting social and political commentary, historical comedy about people like Oswald Mosely, and post modernist humour. It’s not as funny as it used to be*, but over 20 years since saw my first copy I still buy it religiously. I’m a big fan of British humour, and Viz is truly up there with such greats as Monty Python, the Carry On movies and Dad’s Army.
They also seem to be able to carry a joke about Shakin’ Stevens or a picture of a bloke kissing a bird’s arse for 20 years!
My absolute favourite part of Viz would be the pseudo 1950’s adverts for things like lard, peas, smoking and chips. I guess I’m of an age where magazines and comics of the post WWII period were still around (at least they were in my family) and I can appreciate those sort of adverts, along with the 1950’s style pisstake comics of Jack Black and Black Bag, the Faithfull Border Bin Liner!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/lard.jpg
* Subtle and on-going Viz joke.
Now, music. Now we know you’re a big fan of Some real heavy shit (Doom-core, sludge-core etc) but seriously, Though. How stoked are you that Kylie’s got a new album out?
Kylie eh? What can I say. She’s certainly a good looker, and sings surprisingly well for an ex soapie star. Her voice has a certain degree of melancholy that has been put to good use by real artists like Nick Cave. Having said that, she’s no Lemmy (out of Motorhead)!
You really want me to say something about music here? Music sucks, stop listening to it. Leave it alone for us rainman types.
Your thoughts on Vegemite: A spread bestowed on the earth from heaven above via the tears of angels or a bitter tangy horrific experience not unlike liking the floor of a Zimbabwean dysentery ward?
I’ve worked in heavy industry. On the railways, they use a sort of protective grease called “Black Jack”. It looks exactly like Vegemite, and is much more palatable. Quite often it’s spread with whatever is handy, mostly a 6” steel rule. The 6” steel rule is often also used for stirring tea.
I’ve never done much more than give my rule a cursory wipe with whatever is handy before stirring my tea, but if I’d been spreading Vegemite with it, I’d have to put it through an industrial sterilizer.
It might be un Australian but I hate the shit!
Who’d you like to see as a member of Farkin (living or dead – The dead ones can be re-animated a la Universal Soldier if need be)
Idi Amin. Not terribly much fun as a genocidal dictator and you’re a Ugandan, but would be pure gold on the internet.
Any pieces of wisdom to impart on the world?
Don’t listen to me!
Thanks for your time, Piers
And there you have it. Top bloke, funnier than a clown bonfire and looks like the sort of person you'd want on your side of a heated game of pool in a dodgy saloon.
Anyway, stay tuned because hopefully (i.e if I can pull my finger out of my arse long enough to knock up the interview) next week we'll be talking all kinda beer with Fatman
toodle pip...
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/NCR600.jpg
So tell us a bit about yourself. (Name, age, location etc.)
Name: Piers (yeah, poncy name I know, but I’m named after a dead Formula 1 driver and heir to a brewery, so think what you like)
Age: 35
Location: Northern Sydney
Occupation?
Toolmaker, engineer and misanthrope.
The pay in toolmaking is shit, but I enjoy my volunteer services to misanthropy immensely
So what made you pick NCR600 as a username?
It’s a reference to a stupid old Italian racing motorcycle I part own. It’s simple enough that I can’t forget it no matter what state I’m in and seeing as there is only one other bike in Australia and as near as I can work out another 3 worldwide, I’m not likely to run into anyone else with that name. I’m a bit sick of it now though!
And why on Earth did you choose Farkin to vent your spleen?
I stumbled across Farkin.net one day while surfing for porn, and stayed for the gay banter.
Honestly? I came here via Bike Addiction, recognized a good thing, and stayed. Kind of like being refused entry to a classy wine bar and ending up a permanent fixture propping up the bar in some old dive.
You’re renowned on Farkin for being a bit of a motorcycle nut, what did/do you ride? Where?
I’ve owned mostly stupid old Ducatis, but I’ve also had an assortment of mostly elderly Japanese machinery, Honda CB500 twin (horrible and slow) Honda 400 four (less slow, and had the wickedest looking 4-1 ever), VT 250, Yamaha 2 strokes and worst of all, a Yamaha R1 racebike. I worked in the industry for a few years, spent considerable time on racetracks (not as a racer though, cos I’m crap) and lost my licence 5 times in the early 1990’s. I have no interest in road riding these days due to the authorities and myself not being able to agree on what is a safe and reasonable speed for motorcycles.
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/Ducatti.jpg
a motorbike, yesterday.
Any scary ‘No shit, there I was, thought I was gonna die!’ biker stories for us?
Back when I bought my first Ducati (a horribly ratty, Matt Black, but mechanically excellent 1984 600 Pantah) I was into going to “rallies” which are really piss ups in the bush around a giant bonfire, where everyone drinks either cheap port or Stone’s Green Ginger Wine.
Anyway, being into old shitheaps, I wore a Norton Commando Tshirt. Late in the evening, when everyone was pretty much blind, I got surrounded by these 5 members of a particularly famous (for violence) outlaw motorcycle club who wanted to know about my Commando.
I admitted I never owned one, and these blokes decided I was some sort of poseur, try-hard or whatever. I don’t really remember what happened, but I seemingly turned them onside because I could talk about Nortons half intelligently, and my Ducati, while not being quite cool, wasn’t “Jap Crap” at least. I probably got away with it for the same reason I got away without being blackballed (think a scrubbing brush and a tin of nugget) as a Rally Virgin at my first rally. Sometimes being 6’3” is a decided advantage!
So how does the mountain biking fit in to all this?
Strange as it may now seem, I’ve been involved in MTB since 1994. Initially I took it up as a way to get fit in preparation for motorcycle racing. Since that time, I’ve entered at least 3 MTB races (all in 1996), and exactly zero motorcycle races. I’ve also hurt myself far more often, and far worse on a bicycle than I ever have on a motorcycle. MTB is an excellent sport, it combines ostentatious displays of wealth with the opportunity to obtain chick impressing scars, and the chance to meet hot Casualty nurses and spunky radiographers.
I love mountainbiking to death, in all it’s forms. I just wish I was good at some of it!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/NCRonaMTB.jpg
rare photo of an NCR600 in the wild
You’ve won 2nd prize in a beauty contest and the prize is a holiday anywhere in the world. Where’d you go, what’ll you do and who’d you take.
I’d probably go to some stanky music festival, like Emissions from the Monolith, (Youngstown Ohio, lately at Austin Texas) Roadburn (Amsterdam) or Duna (Sardinia). Wherever fat blokes with beards are appreciated basically. Maybe Antarctica. I think I’d take Tura Satana, Rosie the Riveter, or this chick who likes Barbeques with me
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/BBQ.jpg
(Thanks RCOH!)
Now you’re getting the reputation on Farkin as one who doesn’t really suffer fools gladly and you seem to be good at intimidating the young ‘uns. Nice work! So what’s pissing you off at the moment?
What isn’t? My favourite quote from a movie is from “Idiot Box” where Ben Mendehlsohn’s character shoots the barking Rottweiler and Jermey Sims’ charachter asks
“Do you have to be so fuckin’ angry all the time, you should get a hobby”
“It is me hobby”
So, what’s your favourite tipple?
Inner Circle OP rum (Full Strength 75% for special occasions) or Erdinger ‘Pinkatus’ Dunkel bier. It’s the beer Tooheys Old should be. Similar, but more intense flavours and 7% abv
Favourite bar(s)?
Dreadful dive bars like The Sando, The Annandale where they play live music. I also like The Century Tavern before they refurbished it, The Duke, and in Melbourne The Espy and The George. The POW used to be good until it went all upmarket!
Last time you were approached by the police?
I had just pulled into a local servo to fill up, when I noticed a cop car pull up behind me. I was in the process of filling up when a quite attractive female copper got out of the cop car, circled my car with her hand on her weapon, approached me and began asking me the standard copper intro to interrogation. “Here we go”, I thought
“Is this your vehicle sir?”
“yep”
“Can I see your ID?” etc etc
Finally after a good five minutes of questioning, she said “ OK, could you go over to the car, the other officer wants to speak to you”
Turned out it was my mate puppy walking a probationary constable. The prick. She was in on it too and thought it was a good laugh to see me sweat.
The time before that one of the neighbours had a whinge to the cops about me running the racebike up in the street. The copper they sent was a certified Ducati nut who was more interested in talking bikes than any possible breach of the law (of which there were plenty) No penalty was issued, and as the bike was technically still registered at the time, he booked it up as an overly sensitive neighbour complaining about nothing. Maybe I’m just getting old (or better at getting away with stuff), but I haven’t had a decent confrontation with the law in years.
What’s on your desk just now?
Phone, 2 computers (one monitor, the other computer powers the monitor) Full in tray, ¾ completed model of a Japanese Ki-115 Tsurugi suicide aircraft and a Laminated Loctite product Application guide. I’ve just had a tidy up, you should have seen the crap 2 weeks ago!
You’re also a bit of a Viz fan (and not averse to stealing the occasional joke from it either I might add) So what's so appealing about toilet humour? Any favourite characters?
I’ve kept my answers deliberately brief for this one!
My favourite Viz comic would have to be “The Drunken Bakers” (http://www.leehealey-cartoonist.com/page8.htm) It’s not funny. At all. It’s really quite a depressing, post modernist comic. Very, very black humour about 2 alcoholics who happen to own a bakery, although they never seem to get much baking done. It’s a little bit Maribou Stork Dreaming really. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when reading it.
I guess If I could be any Viz character, I’d be Baz out of “The Fat Slags” He always get laid, even if it is with San & Tray! In reality I’m probably a hybrid of 8 Ace, and Gilbert ratchet.
I truly love Viz. It’s proper multi layered comedy, not unlike “The Simpsons” ,except better. On the surface of it, there’s knob jokes and swear words, but if you dig deeper, there’s biting social and political commentary, historical comedy about people like Oswald Mosely, and post modernist humour. It’s not as funny as it used to be*, but over 20 years since saw my first copy I still buy it religiously. I’m a big fan of British humour, and Viz is truly up there with such greats as Monty Python, the Carry On movies and Dad’s Army.
They also seem to be able to carry a joke about Shakin’ Stevens or a picture of a bloke kissing a bird’s arse for 20 years!
My absolute favourite part of Viz would be the pseudo 1950’s adverts for things like lard, peas, smoking and chips. I guess I’m of an age where magazines and comics of the post WWII period were still around (at least they were in my family) and I can appreciate those sort of adverts, along with the 1950’s style pisstake comics of Jack Black and Black Bag, the Faithfull Border Bin Liner!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h34/taylorndt/lard.jpg
* Subtle and on-going Viz joke.
Now, music. Now we know you’re a big fan of Some real heavy shit (Doom-core, sludge-core etc) but seriously, Though. How stoked are you that Kylie’s got a new album out?
Kylie eh? What can I say. She’s certainly a good looker, and sings surprisingly well for an ex soapie star. Her voice has a certain degree of melancholy that has been put to good use by real artists like Nick Cave. Having said that, she’s no Lemmy (out of Motorhead)!
You really want me to say something about music here? Music sucks, stop listening to it. Leave it alone for us rainman types.
Your thoughts on Vegemite: A spread bestowed on the earth from heaven above via the tears of angels or a bitter tangy horrific experience not unlike liking the floor of a Zimbabwean dysentery ward?
I’ve worked in heavy industry. On the railways, they use a sort of protective grease called “Black Jack”. It looks exactly like Vegemite, and is much more palatable. Quite often it’s spread with whatever is handy, mostly a 6” steel rule. The 6” steel rule is often also used for stirring tea.
I’ve never done much more than give my rule a cursory wipe with whatever is handy before stirring my tea, but if I’d been spreading Vegemite with it, I’d have to put it through an industrial sterilizer.
It might be un Australian but I hate the shit!
Who’d you like to see as a member of Farkin (living or dead – The dead ones can be re-animated a la Universal Soldier if need be)
Idi Amin. Not terribly much fun as a genocidal dictator and you’re a Ugandan, but would be pure gold on the internet.
Any pieces of wisdom to impart on the world?
Don’t listen to me!
Thanks for your time, Piers
And there you have it. Top bloke, funnier than a clown bonfire and looks like the sort of person you'd want on your side of a heated game of pool in a dodgy saloon.
Anyway, stay tuned because hopefully (i.e if I can pull my finger out of my arse long enough to knock up the interview) next week we'll be talking all kinda beer with Fatman
toodle pip...