demo man
17-07-2006, 07:04 PM
check this out everyone! I'm on time this week!
Part II of Glen's interview will be up next week, Monday at 8pm.
tonight we have the pleasure of talking with Steve, Socket, or as he is better known, "S."
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a184/demo_man/barjarg06mewhip.jpg
What is your real name?
Steve Mathews. Full time armchair expert, part time qualification inventor, and recreational identity-parade bandit. One time I rode a bike too.
Why did you choose your username?
Ahh it was originally Socket (can’t remember why I chose that one though) but I had part of it voluntarily amputated for the sake of brevity and that hint of mystique that comes with obnoxiously short names. It’s also handy because I can change my own title to things that start with “S” (but omitting the S obviously) and thus make some kind of lame joke in doing so. Unfortunately I was specifically asked not to change my title to “ex offender”, regardless of how accurate it may or may not be.
Why did you join Farkin?
I didn’t. Farkin joined me. Now we am captain planet.
What's your best memory from Farkin?
Not sure really. There have been some pretty good arguments on here, and some absolutely hilarious posts/threads. Meeting some of the people in person, whom I’ve only ever known through their online persona, is also interesting usually. Virtually everyone is completely different in person to how they come across on the interweb.
One thing you would like to see change about Farkin is:
Less bullshit. It annoys me when people pretend to know all about stuff they don’t have the slightest clue about. Mucho respecto for anyone who can just say “I don’t know, sorry”.
How did you get into mountain biking?
Well back in 1984 I knew this bloke called Keith Fisher, or was it Gary Bontrager, I forget, anyway basically I invented mountain biking and one or both of them claimed my idea as their own. If for some reason that doesn’t sound feasible (which is understandable since it was about two years before I was born), then it might have been because I was just always into riding bikes of some description. Found a cool little trail not far from my house, along the river, rode that quite a bit on my old X-TREME Malvern Star (bit redundant, as if there’s another type of Malvern Star) then eventually caved in to peer pressure from my imaginary friends and bought a Marin XC bike. Pretty much just snowballed from there.
List 3 places you want to ride before you die:
Whistler, Chile (make that all of South America actually), and the Diablo park in the US (where they hold the US Open). Just in case you’re interested in a fourth, I reckon I’d hit up Durango too.
Funniest thing seen while riding:
not whilst actually ON the bike per se, but at Thredbo nats round a couple of years ago. A certain person who I’ll call Ben W... no that’s too obvious, we’ll refer to him as B Watkins, got slightly inebriated at the bar, decided to stumble back to the lodge at about 2am when everyone else was already asleep, throw up on the carpet (from the top bunk apparently – 10 points for distance and another 10 for volume), sleep till about 9am (when practice was due to start), attempt to get up which involved an enthusiastic encore performance of his original heave, then go back to sleep till 5pm.
Best person or thing to go on a long drive with:
Ivan Milat. Makes long trips seem like they’ve been cut so much shorter!
What is currently on the computer desk you log onto Farkin from?
A digital camera, two speakers, the monitor, printer, lots of random pieces of paper, a graphics calculator, a plate, remote control for the TV which is within arm’s reach, a box of tissues, another non-graphics calculator, an empty water bottle, a bank statement (equal to the water bottle in its emptiness), various stains from a variety of bodily fluids among other things, and a partridge in a pear tree.
What is the heaviest item in your house?
Some random death metal song Rik sent me a while ago. Heavy like the panda.
What is your job and what’s the worst part about it?
I work as a tree lopper at the moment. Worst part is the sore back it gives me, and the times when it’s pissing down and cold and you have to wrestle with some stupid prickly bastard of a tree that’s trapped in a tight space in someone’s back yard. It’s freakin great being able to tell people to go and get f**ked if they give you grief though, such a change from pretty well anywhere else.
Describe your riding style:
Something fairly similar to a stoned panda.
What would you change about your riding style?
Well I’d try and give the term “style” some actual relevance to start with – at the moment it’s more like “or lack thereof”. Running into things, albeit slower than everyone else, is something I’d improve if I had the motivation, but since I make your average council worker look like a workaholic, meh.
What’s your dream bike?
One I designed myself. One innovation I could see making inroads in the DH scene, is a handlebar-mounted switch that causes ninjas to flip out and kill people. It would also be anodised purple carbon fibre with random lumps of titanium just so I can point out how much it cost. Really though, one day I’d love to make my own bike.
What do you like most about my videos?
The way you unabashedly ask for praise about them... everything else is terrible.
Last time you were approached by the police was:
At Flinders St Station, where myself and another guy copped an earful for “riding in the station”, which involved us both coasting about 5 metres from the turnstiles to put our respective tickets away without blocking everyone else. Good to see they’re out there stopping those dangerous violent criminals who are CAUSING HARM TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last car accident:
Last year, some idiot woman stopped at a stop sign 50m from my house, looked left, then drove out in front of me (coming from the right). I gave her an earful for it, then she turned around and accused me of speeding, at which point I politely reminded her that she hadn’t even seen me until I RAN INTO HER and thus could have had no idea whatsoever what speed I was doing. If she was a man, and smaller than me, and I wasn’t a pussy, and I’d been drinking, I probably would have punched her out.
Most foul food ever eaten:
Without question these malaria tablets we had to take before going to Indonesia a few years ago. Even just chucking them on your tongue and swallowing straight away left the worst taste imaginable in your mouth. Failing that, probably sushi – if you like it, your opinion is wrong.
Most cash you've had in your hand:
About $3000. Didn’t last long though – money talks, I won’t deny, I heard it once, it said goodbye.
Is it possible to have too many sponsors?
Yeah definitely. I’m having to beat them back with a stick at the moment. They all want me because apparently I make it extremely easy to get clear photos of their logos when riding. That and because I’m bigger and fatter than most people, I have more jersey space to sell.
One person you'd like to see become a member of Farkin is:
Annalise Braakensiek. Oh... you meant Farkin dot NET... in that case, anyone who isn’t a steaming pile of faeces. Because steaming piles of faeces tend to get stepped on, and nobody wins that way. More people who are funny/interesting/intelligent.
Thanks for that S. - very well done (you lunatic)
Part II of Glen's interview will be up next week, Monday at 8pm.
tonight we have the pleasure of talking with Steve, Socket, or as he is better known, "S."
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a184/demo_man/barjarg06mewhip.jpg
What is your real name?
Steve Mathews. Full time armchair expert, part time qualification inventor, and recreational identity-parade bandit. One time I rode a bike too.
Why did you choose your username?
Ahh it was originally Socket (can’t remember why I chose that one though) but I had part of it voluntarily amputated for the sake of brevity and that hint of mystique that comes with obnoxiously short names. It’s also handy because I can change my own title to things that start with “S” (but omitting the S obviously) and thus make some kind of lame joke in doing so. Unfortunately I was specifically asked not to change my title to “ex offender”, regardless of how accurate it may or may not be.
Why did you join Farkin?
I didn’t. Farkin joined me. Now we am captain planet.
What's your best memory from Farkin?
Not sure really. There have been some pretty good arguments on here, and some absolutely hilarious posts/threads. Meeting some of the people in person, whom I’ve only ever known through their online persona, is also interesting usually. Virtually everyone is completely different in person to how they come across on the interweb.
One thing you would like to see change about Farkin is:
Less bullshit. It annoys me when people pretend to know all about stuff they don’t have the slightest clue about. Mucho respecto for anyone who can just say “I don’t know, sorry”.
How did you get into mountain biking?
Well back in 1984 I knew this bloke called Keith Fisher, or was it Gary Bontrager, I forget, anyway basically I invented mountain biking and one or both of them claimed my idea as their own. If for some reason that doesn’t sound feasible (which is understandable since it was about two years before I was born), then it might have been because I was just always into riding bikes of some description. Found a cool little trail not far from my house, along the river, rode that quite a bit on my old X-TREME Malvern Star (bit redundant, as if there’s another type of Malvern Star) then eventually caved in to peer pressure from my imaginary friends and bought a Marin XC bike. Pretty much just snowballed from there.
List 3 places you want to ride before you die:
Whistler, Chile (make that all of South America actually), and the Diablo park in the US (where they hold the US Open). Just in case you’re interested in a fourth, I reckon I’d hit up Durango too.
Funniest thing seen while riding:
not whilst actually ON the bike per se, but at Thredbo nats round a couple of years ago. A certain person who I’ll call Ben W... no that’s too obvious, we’ll refer to him as B Watkins, got slightly inebriated at the bar, decided to stumble back to the lodge at about 2am when everyone else was already asleep, throw up on the carpet (from the top bunk apparently – 10 points for distance and another 10 for volume), sleep till about 9am (when practice was due to start), attempt to get up which involved an enthusiastic encore performance of his original heave, then go back to sleep till 5pm.
Best person or thing to go on a long drive with:
Ivan Milat. Makes long trips seem like they’ve been cut so much shorter!
What is currently on the computer desk you log onto Farkin from?
A digital camera, two speakers, the monitor, printer, lots of random pieces of paper, a graphics calculator, a plate, remote control for the TV which is within arm’s reach, a box of tissues, another non-graphics calculator, an empty water bottle, a bank statement (equal to the water bottle in its emptiness), various stains from a variety of bodily fluids among other things, and a partridge in a pear tree.
What is the heaviest item in your house?
Some random death metal song Rik sent me a while ago. Heavy like the panda.
What is your job and what’s the worst part about it?
I work as a tree lopper at the moment. Worst part is the sore back it gives me, and the times when it’s pissing down and cold and you have to wrestle with some stupid prickly bastard of a tree that’s trapped in a tight space in someone’s back yard. It’s freakin great being able to tell people to go and get f**ked if they give you grief though, such a change from pretty well anywhere else.
Describe your riding style:
Something fairly similar to a stoned panda.
What would you change about your riding style?
Well I’d try and give the term “style” some actual relevance to start with – at the moment it’s more like “or lack thereof”. Running into things, albeit slower than everyone else, is something I’d improve if I had the motivation, but since I make your average council worker look like a workaholic, meh.
What’s your dream bike?
One I designed myself. One innovation I could see making inroads in the DH scene, is a handlebar-mounted switch that causes ninjas to flip out and kill people. It would also be anodised purple carbon fibre with random lumps of titanium just so I can point out how much it cost. Really though, one day I’d love to make my own bike.
What do you like most about my videos?
The way you unabashedly ask for praise about them... everything else is terrible.
Last time you were approached by the police was:
At Flinders St Station, where myself and another guy copped an earful for “riding in the station”, which involved us both coasting about 5 metres from the turnstiles to put our respective tickets away without blocking everyone else. Good to see they’re out there stopping those dangerous violent criminals who are CAUSING HARM TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last car accident:
Last year, some idiot woman stopped at a stop sign 50m from my house, looked left, then drove out in front of me (coming from the right). I gave her an earful for it, then she turned around and accused me of speeding, at which point I politely reminded her that she hadn’t even seen me until I RAN INTO HER and thus could have had no idea whatsoever what speed I was doing. If she was a man, and smaller than me, and I wasn’t a pussy, and I’d been drinking, I probably would have punched her out.
Most foul food ever eaten:
Without question these malaria tablets we had to take before going to Indonesia a few years ago. Even just chucking them on your tongue and swallowing straight away left the worst taste imaginable in your mouth. Failing that, probably sushi – if you like it, your opinion is wrong.
Most cash you've had in your hand:
About $3000. Didn’t last long though – money talks, I won’t deny, I heard it once, it said goodbye.
Is it possible to have too many sponsors?
Yeah definitely. I’m having to beat them back with a stick at the moment. They all want me because apparently I make it extremely easy to get clear photos of their logos when riding. That and because I’m bigger and fatter than most people, I have more jersey space to sell.
One person you'd like to see become a member of Farkin is:
Annalise Braakensiek. Oh... you meant Farkin dot NET... in that case, anyone who isn’t a steaming pile of faeces. Because steaming piles of faeces tend to get stepped on, and nobody wins that way. More people who are funny/interesting/intelligent.
Thanks for that S. - very well done (you lunatic)