#13 - Johnny

[demo man]

Tonight we have the explicit pleasure of talking to the future of international conflict resolution, and if things go his way the first World King - Johnny Farker!

I think you can all and understand why he's perfectr for the oh-so-perfect number 13.

Oh, and he is also the only member on record to need TWO posts to cover his interview. But then, it would be a true Johnny profile without at least one essay - would it?!



1. Who are you (name, bikes you ride, age, job)
Johnny Lovegod. Cannondale Chase, Foes Fly and Cannondale 1FG (when I get round to finishing it….) 34 years old, student (got my mid life crisis career change out of the way early…….)


http://forums.farkin.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=46186&stc=1&d=1158573374

2. When and why did you become a member of Farkin?
Some time in early 2004. I had just bought my first MTB, Gary Fisher Tassajarra, after losing my licence for 18 months. Realised how much fun it was and wanted to get into it. Saw a bunch of blokes riding cool looking bikes in the city one night, asked if I could play too, they gave me Farkin’s address and here I am being accosted by another member for all my personal information.

3. Why are you still a member?
Power trip.

4. What was your favourite ride of all time?
Even though RawNRG couldn’t organise a dose of HIV in the deepest, darkest Africa, I really enjoy riding Thredbo. It’s still my favourite track so far. It’s fast, it’s varied and most of all it’s long! Oh yeah, it has a chairlift too!

5. 3 trails you must ride before you die:
Not really something I think about TBH. So I guess the obligatory Whistler trip, Buller looks like fun but, I want to ride my little track near my house every day, no matter how many times I’ve hit it before!

6. What is something about you that few people know?
I am the new God. I am the path to salvation.

7. What is the heaviest thing in your house?
What?! I don’t Farkin know? Maybe my stupid Toyota 4Runner in the garage…?

8. How did you come to own that thing?
I bought it.

9. What is the earliest you have woken yourself up to go for a ride?
0700hrs………..yes Techno Destructo, I AM looking in your direction with a nasty frown!!

10. The latest you’ve been up riding?
Probably around midnightish on a city ride

11. Group rides, 2/3 people rides, or solo rides?
Groups, I need some one to call the ambulance!

12. What will the Elite top 3 be for the World Champs this year?
1st: Jared Graves, 2nd: Fabien Barrel, 3rd: Arpit

13. What’s the riding culture in your neck of the woods like?
Being that I live in Sydney, that’s a big question that requires a big answer.

I’ll begin with trail riding. There is the most popular site for trail riding on the Northern Beaches, this is Manly Damn. IT was recently closed due to rain and erosion and I believe that most riders stayed away and did the righty. Now I believe that this and Techno’s discussions on the issue of trail damage has spurred a few into action to commit to some trail maintenance and repair. This would lead me to believe that the general trail riding culture in Sydney is a fairly decent and probably a bit older one.

There is also a MASSIVE trail riding culture up in the Blue Mountains as well. If you drive through Glenbrook, Waterfall, Katoomba, etc. on a long weekend, there are riders EVERYWHERE! The Oaks track races/rides attract hundreds of riders and it’s pretty hard to ride a developed trail on any given weekend without coming across quite a few other riders. Anything from your Sunday Apollo crowd to your pairs of go hard hill climbers on $8k Cannondales and bikes of that calibre. There is a very healthy trail riding scene in Sydney and it really shits me when you get these tools in the paper putting sh*t on riders and cyclists like we are the bane of the modern world. I wish they’d all go back to their Current Affairs and Pop Idols and CSI’s and leave the real world to people like us who are going to go out and enjoy it and use it.

Street riding is another popular pass-time for riders in Sydney. The most popular focal point of this style has been the Wednesday street rides that are organised around Farkin.net’s watering hole. It first began years ago with some blokes who are part of Farkin (I think McBain may have been one of them…I know that I_AM_TEH_FASTEST_1! and a few others here were part of it all) with God knows what sort of bikes, but when I joined in early 2004, it was all big arsed dually huckmaster bikes. Stair gapping and drops to flat (Naz!!!) were the go. We’d all watch Technoboy smash the wildest and craziest stair gaps and crown around while Naz did the Darling Harbour water gap. We got the usual grief from security guards, but most of them were fine. RCOH had the pleasure of wasting a day in court because of a particular rider pissing off a security guard in Sydney University…., we miss you Sweeney!!!! But other than that, we get along ok with most of them.

The culture of street riding in Sydney is very dynamic. In 2004, it was all about going big; hitting drops like Lady Mac’s chair, Cook and Phillip Stair Gap, TAFE wall-ride, Darling Harbour gap etc, but then the single speed revolution came about. Slowly all the big bikes were replaced by rigid single speeds with short travel forks and people started doing smaller wall-rides, manuals, abubacas and techier stuff like that. This trend has continued and the last ride I went on two weeks ago had about 7 riders attending; 2 were on 26 inch hard tails, everyone else was on BMX’s. It’s all about grinding, rotations and even a little bit of flat-land stylee. This does shit me a little as I cannot do that style of riding at all. 1) I’m a tech-quamby, 2) my stupid shoulder precludes me from doing a lot of the techy style stuff. So I try to film instead.

Some memorable moments of the street rides have been: Sweeny’s bike up in a tree, me almost killing myself down a set of stairs on my old Felt XC, Naz diving into Darling Harbour retrieving some bloke’s BMX that went in the drink, Techno making some drainage pipe adjustments after a stair gap, Terry hitting the Darling Harbour stair gap….with no lid on! Any of the big car park races with up to 30 riders screaming down the ramps, Bowen’s uber nutso fence gap at the old Waterloo skate park, the nights we’d meet at the pub and have trouble moving from there……and so on. Good times boys ;-]

[demo man]

Down hilling is ever increasingly popular in Sydney. The last few races at Ourimbah and Lithgow have just gone off! So many people attending and watching, really well organised, heaps of enthusiasm, really good to see! I always have so much respect when I see how much effort and work Steve Humphries goes to each race he attends, the sport in Sydney would not be anywhere near the point it is today without people like him. I was also really impressed by the Coff’s race. Not only did Dozer and crew do a wicked job, but so many people from Sydney and Queensland came together for what was an awesome weekend. I get a little nervous when we have these away events such as Canberra, Coff’s and Thredbo, I dread the day that I might log onto Farkin to read a thread telling me of a road crash after the race that has killed a few riders or even a few friends……drive safe people, don’t axe yourself behind the wheel, you can’t ride without your legs or your life!!

Commuting is surprisingly enough becoming a pass-time within itself in Sydney. I think the two leaders of this new niche cycling pursuit would have to be Carlin and Techno Destructo, closely followed by RCOH and myself up until June this year for me anyway. We all absolutely LOVE commuting and look forward to it every day. We are all a little unique in our approaches to it; Techno goes the super thin, ultra commuter with all the right weather kit, etc., Carlin is the fixy KING! RCOH has the clip in XC commuter thing ripping through the Eastern suburbs and I’m the hard tail, single speed jump bike devotee. I seriously LOVE cranking my guts out through traffic, down stairs and anywhere that I can make my bike fit in peek hour traffic through the centre of town!

I was having a discussion with Carlin the other day and we both admitted that we ride like aggressive idiots through town now. We both used to try and be as courteous as possible and pay attention to everyone around us. But this didn’t succeed in doing anything other than making us easy targets. We were still abused whether we were on the road, in the gutter or on the footpath. I even had a guy turn straight across in front of me at the lights and then be told that I was riding like a f**kwit. it was that incident and Michael Duffy’s stupid article in the SMH that made decide to ride like a total mother f**ker. First off, if I’m going to be labelled and “urban terrorist” no matter how considerate I am, I might as well earn the reputation. Secondly, I have learnt that if I ride conservatively and considerately, I will be taken advantage of. For anyone who knows IR theory, I’m an offensive realist on the roads baby, get outa my way, I’m a comin’ through whether you like it or not!

Dirt jumping in Sydney is a really healthy little scene too. I think two of the leaders here are definitely Technoboy (you would not believe how much this lunatic has dug and designed, truly astounding stuff Dale!) and more recently, Nicho and his efforts with his local council. I know there are many other sites around Sydney such as Berowra (or however you spell it), the Blue Mountains and so on, but I think Technoboy’s work is by far the premium park in Sydney and Nicho’s set up will be a model that other aspiring dirt movers can approach their own councils with in an effort to get their own jumps recognised and supported.

Unfortunately, I don’t really know much about the trials scene in Sydney. But the crew does meet on the same night as us at the same place in town and they get a regular turn out of at least 5 dudes each week, sometimes up to ten. So for a really particular and niche aspect of cycling, I think the Sydney trials scene is relatively healthy.

14. What does your other half think of mountain bikes?
I don’t have another half, in between right now. But the previous one didn’t really have an adventurous or aggressive streak in here so she was scared to ride a bike over 5kph. The prospective other half isn’t really into it either, she likes slow rides along the esplanade at sunset, etc. But that’s fine, because she is really into us having our own interests and passions and not trying to do everything together…..my kind of girl.

15. What does your boss think of mountain bikes?
I don’t have a boss and haven’t for the last four years. Not looking forward to working again, I can tell you that for free!!

16. What is on the desk you log onto Farkin from?
A computer, some cocoa butter, a bottle of Grant Burge port, My Cold Steel Survival Rescue knife, “The Tragedy of Great Power Politics” by John Mearsheimer, “The Origin of Alliances” by Steven Walt, “Theory of International Po9litics” by Kenneth Waltz, Eucalyptus lollies, CD’s: Infinito Particular, Marisa Monte. Gnarls Barkley, ST. Elsewhere. This is Not the Way Home, Cruel Sea. Fragments of Freedom, Morcheeba. The Brandenburg Concertos, Bach. Love Box, Groove Armada. Am I Still the Same Girl I Used to Be?, Dusty Springfield. Hot Fuss, The Killers. Anthology 3, the Beatles. Sticky Fingers, Rolling Stones. Howling Bells. Abattoir Blues/Lyre of Orpheus, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Mix MP3 CD of Marvin Gaye and MC 900Ft Jesus. Pens, paper/exercise books, my watch, my wallet, an empty yeast satchel, Party invite, scissors, car rego, mobile and land-line phone, laptop paraphernalia.

Why do you ask?

17. Mac or PC?
PC desktop, Mac laptop.

18. Ipod or Iriver?
Iriver, I cannot tell you how much iPods eat s**t and how much Irivers rule. I don’t know how anyone could ever use an iPod again after using an Iriver…..

19. Last time you got approached by the police?
I honestly cannot remember…., your honour.

20. Last time you yelled at someone?
Hasn’t happened for such a long time that I don’t know, probably at a race with something like, “Pedaaaaaaaaal you f**kin pussyyyyyyyyyyyy”

21. Last time someone yelled at you?
I think it was at the last race I was at, I remember Nicho screaming “You got like three feet of air that time” as I rolled past.

22. Who would you like to see become a member of Farkin?
JonBennet Ramsey, Azaria Chamberlain, Renee Rivkin, Mohammud Atta, Nancy Crick, Shappelle Corby, Anita Cobby, Gilles de Rais, Joseph Stalin, Che Guevara, Idi Amin, Nicolai Ceausescu, Karl Marx, Mao Zedong, H. H. Holmes, Edwin Barton, Pol Pot, Renee Lawrence, Tallat Pasha, Robert Oppenheimer, Rose Porteus Hancock, Eddie McGuire, Richard Carlton, Rodney Adler, Ben Gurion, Maxemillian Robespierre, Rudolph Hess, Carl Von Clausewitz, Ho Chi Minh, Tomas de Torquemada, Adolph Eichmann and Rooks.

[johnny]

Never heard of him.

[sammydog]

Too many words, can we have a summary??

[johnny]

Yeah:

Vote for johnny.

[fleshbone]

i enjoy every profile of these people,but johnny,i see every where,not saying i have not recognised the others,but he seems to be a god just because i always see him all over farkin ALOT.it was definitely a good read,and being a fellow sydneyian was the diffrence. :cool:

[toodles]

Pinky lefto hippy softc*ck by the sounds of it....

[sammydog]

I think if you want votes, you need to do something about the pic in your interview.

Doesn't do it for me.

Sorry, I'll vote for the other guy.

[fattyandthepiemakers]

Rooks.
Just unban him.

[fatnold]

good to see that you still use an actual photo of yourself (actually your twin brother) as your avatar.;)

keepin' it real.

[johnny]

Pinky lefto hippy softc*ck by the sounds of it....Only until I'm in power, then I become el Capitano johnny Pinochet the Hun!

and that's when I'll have you up against the wall.

[R33F]

Great read johnny ! One thing though, please tell me thats not what you wear on your Wednesday night rides. :rolleyes:

[J-ack]

Finally, Johnny! I've been wating all my Farkin.net life for this! Great read and umm...'nice' photo...

[covert wolf]

Ah dude thats a lot of writing. I take it that is the summary.

[bb7 rider]

i got half a bar

[leitch]

22. Who would you like to see become a member of Farkin?
... Joseph Stalin, Che Guevara, ... Karl Marx, Mao Zedong... f*ckin lefties... :p

good read, johnny

[olly1oo6]

Great read!:) City rides becoming too much about the tech, not enough hucking and drinking.... i feel your pain!!

[Cúl-Báire]

Awesome read Johnny- you never fail to impress with your writings :)

[Drizz]

Great break down of Sydney's cycling vibe. Big shame that we are treated as second class citizens. :(

[johnny]

i got half a barHeh, me too. :cool:

[kizza01]

Good read Johnny, i too would like to see some of those aformentioned people join farkin... and watch you rip them to shreds.

[Plow King]

12. What will the Elite top 3 be for the World Champs this year?
1st: Jared Graves, 2nd: Fabien Barrel, 3rd: Arpit


hehhehe :p

[Pete J]

Yo, the ego has landed...

:p hehe just joshing mate.

I was waiting for your turn and it was worth it, 3 cheers to Demo Man and johnny!!
You are welcome at ours if you ever make it to sunny Finland. :)

[Dozer]

Nice photo J, are you going to tell the millions what you really look like? That photo is clearly not you because your head couldn't fit into those pants....or is that actually your arse?:p
Good description on the riding situation in your area and good advise with telling fellow riders to be careful on the drive.
The people you mentioned in the "who would you like to see join farkin" is bloody great...Pol Pot would be interesting and Shapelle Corby! Nice one bloke!

[binner]

Johnny, too bad I got ADD , I couldnt read your whole story....but you , yes you have a gift....what it is I'm not sure but by looking at that picture I can't understand why you ain't swarmed by beautiful woman...........:p
keep up the work....

[nicho]

last time you got pulled by a cop.....hummmm...how about on the way to coffs ;)

Last time you yelled at someone : " get out of the car it's on fire" hahahahahahaha still laughing about that one.

Good read you bloody skip!!!

[Adrian]

last time you got pulled by a cop.....hummmm...how about on the way to coffs ;)

Was she hot?

Good Read Johnny, Was expecting the essay to be about who you are, or what you do not about where to ride (don't hurt me). Nice surprise that, and nice summary.

[tonas]

Nothing new here. Complete waste of time.
Can I have those six and a half minutes of my life back... ;)

Andy.

[TonyG]

A good read Johnny. One question though, why do persist on winking at the camera in every photo?

It's one of thos pictures that no matter where you stand it looks like it is looking right at you.

[johnny]

It's meant to be a perspective on where all my opinions are formed....

[Adrian]

It's meant to be a perspective on where all my opinions are formed....

And still you insist on hiding the true source behind the white flag of submission...

[scblack]

Well done, good read there.

[Oddjob]

Pinky lefto hippy softc*ck by the sounds of it....

Damn beat me to it. :p

Dare I ask what your about to do to that unsuspecting bike?

Great writeup on the Sydney scene. Not sure what you will think of the work that we did to the Dam on sunday though.

[McBain]

The most popular focal point of this style has been the Wednesday street rides that are organised around Farkin.net’s watering hole. It first began years ago with some blokes who are part of Farkin (I think McBain may have been one of them…I know that I_AM_TEH_FASTEST_1! and a few others here were part of it all) Actually, our city rides predated Farkin by, ooh, 5 years? Then some of us got all lazy/soft and it stopped occuring quite so often. Then the Farkin rides started happening and the rest is history.

Anyway, anything we did just pales in comparison to the street riding you see now! We were just happy to find a few good hucks to flat (yo!) and some stairs without getting chased off by security goons.

[johnny]

Yeah, that's what I was referring to, actually. How did you guys all get together and attract other people McBain, was it also started on the intraweb?

I didn't start doing the street ride thing until about Feb 2004..., on my trusty Felt XC :)

[Techno Destructo]

9. What is the earliest you have woken yourself up to go for a ride?
0700hrs………..yes Techno Destructo, I AM looking in your direction with a nasty frown!!

Dude. How are we ever going to get you canyoning with that kind of attitude? Tsk tsk tsk....:p

[McBain]

Yeah, that's what I was referring to, actually. How did you guys all get together and attract other people McBain, was it also started on the intraweb?By that old fashioned thing called email! Yes, email.

It was through the mtb-oz (http://mtb-oz.com/) mailing list - which btw is coming up to 10 years of existence in November!

[chriscross]

A tad funnier than the normal but none the less a good read.

the picture scared me aswell

[tonas]

Street riding is another popular pass-time for riders in Sydney. The most popular focal point of this style has been the Wednesday street rides that are organised around Farkin.net’s watering hole. It first began years ago with some blokes who are part of Farkin (I think McBain may have been one of them…I know that I_AM_TEH_FASTEST_1! and a few others here were part of it all) with God knows what sort of bikes, but when I joined in early 2004, it was all big arsed dually huckmaster bikes. Stair gapping and drops to flat (Naz!!!) were the go. We’d all watch Technoboy smash the wildest and craziest stair gaps and crown around while Naz did the Darling Harbour water gap. We got the usual grief from security guards, but most of them were fine. RCOH had the pleasure of wasting a day in court because of a particular rider pissing off a security guard in Sydney University…., we miss you Sweeney!!!! But other than that, we get along ok with most of them.

The culture of street riding in Sydney is very dynamic. In 2004, it was all about going big; hitting drops like Lady Mac’s chair, Cook and Phillip Stair Gap, TAFE wall-ride, Darling Harbour gap etc, but then the single speed revolution came about. Slowly all the big bikes were replaced by rigid single speeds with short travel forks and people started doing smaller wall-rides, manuals, abubacas and techier stuff like that. This trend has continued and the last ride I went on two weeks ago had about 7 riders attending; 2 were on 26 inch hard tails, everyone else was on BMX’s. It’s all about grinding, rotations and even a little bit of flat-land stylee. This does shit me a little as I cannot do that style of riding at all. 1) I’m a tech-quamby, 2) my stupid shoulder precludes me from doing a lot of the techy style stuff. So I try to film instead.

Some memorable moments of the street rides have been: Sweeny’s bike up in a tree, me almost killing myself down a set of stairs on my old Felt XC, Naz diving into Darling Harbour retrieving some bloke’s BMX that went in the drink, Techno making some drainage pipe adjustments after a stair gap, Terry hitting the Darling Harbour stair gap….with no lid on! Any of the big car park races with up to 30 riders screaming down the ramps, Bowen’s uber nutso fence gap at the old Waterloo skate park, the nights we’d meet at the pub and have trouble moving from there……and so on. Good times boys ;-]

Sounds like a great journey you have described Johnny; the progression (regression :p) of the Sydney street scene. So no more townhilling boys...? Are the tech-head bmx bandits taking over...?

Andy.

[FR Drew]

Mmmmm Grant Burge Port...

[Bodin]

Johnny, I was only just starting to get used to the visual shock value of your avatar and now you've inflicted another retinae-burning image upon us...

However, a "cheerful" fella who works here and knows nothing about cycling looked over my shoulder and said he was reminded of a good night in Sydney. Something you've omitted from the interview, Johnny?

[tu plang]

Something you've omitted from the interview, Johnny?

Nah I think that would have been a big night in sydney :p

Good read, engineering has put me in a position where I haven't read a long body of text for ... as long as i can remember so that really was a challenge. I was actually kind of surprised by the breverity of the first few answers, scrolled down a bit and thought "hahah thats more like it".

Slightly off topic, the posts are rolling in, i might have to crack out a sister pic to hold the lead :p

[S.]

Nice panties.

[johnny]

Nice panties.I bet you say that to all the boys, man-sl*t!

[sockman]

jesus! what a read, cant say how long i have been waiting for this!

can we get a real mug johnny?

[Pete J]

Slightly off topic, the posts are rolling in, i might have to crack out a sister pic to hold the lead :p

Sounds good to me!
Or then maybe pm me one or two instead. ;)

[johnny]

jesus! what a read, cant say how long i have been waiting for this!

can we get a real mug johnny?
Sure!

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/DemocracyforMaonewest.jpg

[S.]

More like
http://home.att.net/~raidcon/juggernaut.jpg

[Registered Nutcase]

More like
http://home.att.net/~raidcon/juggernaut.jpg

BAWAHAHAHAHAH that is the funniest shit ever. this dude was modeled on johnny himself!!!!!!! he flexes and women flock to him

[Live2DieTrying]

A bit long winded, but good to read.
I don't know you personally, but you could have cleaned up a bit better for the interview. Maybe shaved or washed your hair?

18. Ipod or Iriver?
Iriver, I cannot tell you how much iPods eat s**t and how much Irivers rule. I don’t know how anyone could ever use an iPod again after using an Iriver…..
Believe it or not, A mate ot mine is switching from his trusty H10 to an Ipod. Don't ask me why, it could be one of the worst decisions ever made by anyone in history.

[Dudley]

overall read, i'd say about 6.3 internets.

[fallboy]

wow johnny. You are even crazier than the fist fighting door busting vision I had in my head of you from coffs.

Some of us yups will have to come down. I would love to hit big urban in sydney

[Oddjob]

Sure!

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/DemocracyforMaonewest.jpg

I'm surprised you didn't get arrested for that t-shirt. Did you visit Mao's mausoleum? I thought it was freaking sureal.

[johnny]

Nah, was in Beijing by myself on the way home from a bit of a globe trott, missed out on the Forbidden City too by about 20 minutes. Was only there for a busy couple of days. and you can be pretty sure I took as many precaustions as possible when taking the pic. Only took one and it cam out farking perfect! Got out of there pretty quick too!

[bazza]

Nah, was in Beijing by myself on the way home from a bit of a globe trott, missed out on the Forbidden City too by about 20 minutes. Was only there for a busy couple of days. and you can be pretty sure I took as many precaustions as possible when taking the pic. Only took one and it cam out farking perfect! Got out of there pretty quick too!

puuusssssyyyyyyyyyyyy.

[Oddjob]

puuusssssyyyyyyyyyyyy.

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/12/1047431092598.html

NB they charge your family for the bullet. How's that for user pays.

[wtr]

No, not that god forsaken photo again...

[johnny]

No, not that god forsaken photo again...
Would you prefer...
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/in2.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/mepullback1.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/meleank1.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/modupandswingin.jpg

Now we're dragging out all the old Farkin.net memories.., good times :cool:

[MrPlow]

Would you prefer...
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/in2.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/mepullback1.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/meleank1.jpg
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y292/Johnnylovegod/modupandswingin.jpg

Now we're dragging out all the old Farkin.net memories.., good times :cool:

Shit man, I am tryin to eat here!

[Techno Destructo]

Would you prefer...

snip

Now we're dragging out all the old Farkin.net memories.., good times :cool:

Respect.:cool:

[Oddjob]

Would you prefer...

Now we're dragging out all the old Farkin.net memories.., good times :cool:

Remind me not to piss you off if I meet you in person. Thats some freaky sh#t right there.

[Dozer]

Johnny had a pull....those photos are very revealing! You better be careful someone doesn't recognise you.:rolleyes:

When am I getting my copy of the filming you did in Coffs? I want the footage after the race......funny times.:D

[bazza]

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/12/1047431092598.html

NB they charge your family for the bullet. How's that for user pays.

are you saying johnnys family are pov?

thats not a very nice thing to say.

[bazza]

btw what happened to your scandanavian other half?

[toodles]

btw what happened to your scandanavian other half?

There's only so long they last before they build up a resistance to the tranquilizers and ether....

[bazza]

There's only so long they last before they build up a resistance to the tranquilizers and ether....

ahhhh ok good to hear im not the only person that has discovered this!

[johnny]

btw what happened to your scandanavian other half?Traded her in for a younger, richer Brazillian :cool:

Who has since moved back to Brazil :(

Women :rolleyes:

[Adrian]

are you saying johnnys family are pov?

thats not a very nice thing to say.

Everyone's assuming that Johnny's family would want the body back....

Don't delete it ya big woosa! :p

johnny

Done. Hehe... Johnny thinks I'm big.... You really don't know me do you....

[mtbmamma]

Traded her in for a younger, richer Brazillian :cool:

Who has since moved back to Brazil :(

Women :rolleyes:

btw what happened to your scandanavian other half?

I have a Scandinavian other half and, sometimes, they are not all they are cracked up to be. Great people, love him dearly, but the cold and dark supresses lots of deep dark things!!!!! Look at the Russians. Don't believe all the hype you hear about Scandinavians. :) Sorry Johnny if this offends.

As for those photos, shit that looks awful. You are truly amazing! Childbirth must be a snip compared to that.:eek:

[johnny]

Sorry Johnny if this offends.Traded her in for a younger, richer Brazillian :cool:I think I'm cool with it Mamma ;)

I'll take hooks over child birth any day baby!!

[Pete J]

I have a Scandinavian other half and, sometimes, they are not all they are cracked up to be. Great people, love him dearly, but the cold and dark supresses lots of deep dark things!!!!! Look at the Russians. Don't believe all the hype you hear about Scandinavians. :)

Russians are just crazy, no one takes them seriously here! :p
It's the Siberians you have to look out for, nobody sane could live in a place where temperatures can get as low as -70 degrees celsius!! :eek:

[Mo]

hail to you King Johnny.
:eek: insane.:eek:

[Arete]

Next time, turn your goddamn headphones down...

Nice to meet you Johnny...

p.s. I'll PM you about hooks in the near future.

[johnny]

Oh dude, I'm seriously farkin STINGING for a swinging right now. Tell the girls to sort it out and organise a day, I could really use the catharsis more than any other time in my life!

[nicho]

been stung again .... let the johnny i know come out... i think we need a young priest and an old priest to exorcise you...

No need to stay home come for a beer...

nicho

[johnny]

If I come for a beer I'll be having a few and will need to crash there.

Nah not stung, just getting through the emotional hang over actually. Spent an hour on the phone to Brazil this morning, can you believe that she's still considering moving here with her partner??!! Although she is leading him on too right now as she can't work out what she farkin wants :rolleyes: At least she's being open with me though, hah, suck that you 49 year old Brazillian vetrinarian wanker, I should pull out the "wrinkly old balls" line from Big Daddy!! What kind of woman would consider hanging out with a dude named Venicius anyway????!

.....did I just post that publicly?

[nicho]

i think you just did.

Man that story reminds me oh too well of another recent event.
You just trying to increase australia's population i reckon.
The man is too old to live here anyway .. customs will boot him out, only good looking brazilians and (russian/bangali) girls;)

nicho

[Bodin]

.....did I just post that publicly?

I was thinking that as I was reading.

Welcome to johnny's emotional turmoil blog; aka farkin.net :p

[johnny]

i think you just did.

Man that story reminds me oh too well of another recent event.
You just trying to increase australia's population i reckon.
The man is too old to live here anyway .. customs will boot him out, only good looking brazilians and (russian/bangali) girls;)

nicho
You know I never thought of that, you're right too!

How the hell did I get into this??!!

Rafael, another Brazillian friend is introducing me to his sister this weekend..., apparently her boyfriend left her and now she is heart broken....:cool:

[wtr]

I was thinking that as I was reading.

Welcome to johnny's emotional turmoil blog; aka farkin.net :p
Myspace is for emo kids
Hahahaha, I must be emo.:p

[mtbmamma]

You know I never thought of that, you're right too!

How the hell did I get into this??!!

Rafael, another Brazillian friend is introducing me to his sister this weekend..., apparently her boyfriend left her and now she is heart broken....:cool:


My God, wouldn't expect this from most guys let alone you Johnny. Just get out there and get going again, don't worry about the long distance relationship, especially if she is bringing him over!!! Start a new one. Sounds like this girl needs a shoulder to cry on..... a very good start. :D

[Binaural]

My God, wouldn't expect this from most guys let alone you Johnny. Just get out there and get going again, don't worry about the long distance relationship, especially if she is bringing him over!!! Start a new one. Sounds like this girl needs a shoulder to cry on..... a very good start. :D

Yeah, give his love of all things political I am not surprised to hear Johnny has been putting in the hours trying to improve international relations with Brazil. But really mate, remember Argentinian girls need love too :)

[johnny]

Hey don`t worry about this puppy, I never fell off the horse......had my foot caught in the stirrups and got dragged around for a few miles, but all`s cool with the Lovegod now..., let me tell you a story....

I studied psychology with Mariana and became close with her and she went back to Brazil, much to my dismay. She has since moved back here with her fiance, Mario. His sister Joana came her for a month and as soon as we met, and I mean from the very first second, we couldn`t get enough of each other. She had to go back home to her stupid 50 year old partner, Vencius :mad: :mad: :mad: and now she may be moving back here with him.

So, now johnny is asking himself a question..., Does Venicius have a sister?

I love roller coasters.

[Adrian]

tap that... then wake up and delete this entire series of events from farkin recollection... Johnny, you rock.

I'm getting dragged to bed...

laters mate,


the nugget.

[mtbmamma]

Hey don`t worry about this puppy, I never fell off the horse......had my foot caught in the stirrups and got dragged around for a few miles, but all`s cool with the Lovegod now..., let me tell you a story....

I studied psychology with Mariana and became close with her and she went back to Brazil, much to my dismay. She has since moved back her with her fiance, Mario. His sister Joana came her for a month and as soon as we met, and I mean from the very first second, we couldn`t get enough of each other. She had to go back home to her stupid 50 year old partner, Vencius :mad: :mad: :mad: ) and now she may be moving back her with him.

So, now johnny is asking himself a question..., Does Venicius have a sister?

I love roller coasters.

Roller coasters are the stuff of life and as long as the dips aren't too long or too deep they keep us in touch with our emotions. I know, it has been one long year of roller coastering for me this year. But resilience is the key to all of it and love. Yes boys, love. With resilience and the chance of love, be it physical or emotional we, well most of us, will put ourselves out there every time.

Good luck Johnny, lets hope Venicius does have a stunner of a sister. ;)

[Adrian]

I'll back up last night,,,,'







Love... yes, love.....


Well said mtbmamma.


Nugget.

[technoboy]

you guys need to stop watching days of our lifes....

[johnny]

Dude, I'm living this shit!

[S.]

I can't believe Johnny broke up with me because of the lies of that Brazillian slut. THANKS FOR NOTHING YOU ahhh i don't care invent your own insults.

[technoboy]

Dude, I'm living this shit!

dude you gotta go to beach road bondi on friday night... there is soooo much of that kind floating around pommy ones to... :p

[johnny]

I can't believe Johnny broke up with me because of the lies of that Brazillian slut. THANKS FOR NOTHING YOU ahhh i don't care invent your own insults.What can I say......Viagra is your friend ;)


I'll be at the Brazillian festival in Darling Harbour tomorrow if anyone is looking for me :)

[binner]

so johnny is this now a dating thread or a MTF thread....? ;)

see you at Coff's..........;)

[S.]

What can I say......Viagra is your friend ;)


I'll be at the Brazillian festival in Darling Harbour tomorrow if anyone is looking for me :)

I found a cheap substitute for Viagra - as it turns out, one of them BIC pens fits right down the hole... instant rigidity!

[johnny]

so johnny is this now a dating thread or a MTF thread....? ;)
Well that depends, do you know any wealthy brazillian ballerinas in unfulfilling relationships?

I'm such an internationalist, I've gone from "Ya, ya yaaaa oh Got!" to "Si, siii, Aye, aye aaayyyyyeeeeee! Jesus!!!!! (hey zues)". Life only has differing levels of good and bad baby!

[binner]

Well that depends, do you know any wealthy brazillian ballerinas in unfulfilling relationships?

I'm such an internationalist, I've gone from "Ya, ya yaaaa oh Got!" to "Si, siii, Aye, aye aaayyyyyeeeeee! Jesus!!!!! (hey zues)". Life only has differing levels of good and bad baby!

well yes , my workmate is an instuctor at a Brazillian dance academy here in Bris...the owners are brazillians obviously...

[S.]

well yes , my workmate is an instuctor at a Brazillian dance academy here in Bris...the owners are brazillians obviously...

Hey sick, I'm considering moving to Brisbane, care to hook a brother up? :)

[udi]

I found a cheap substitute for Viagra - as it turns out, one of them BIC pens fits right down the hole... instant rigidity!

i'm so glad there aren't any farkin rules about posting under the influence...

yeee hawww...

hope to see you @ coffs johnny. we will organise a brazillian ballerina (will toodles do?)

[sockman]

More like
http://home.att.net/~raidcon/juggernaut.jpg


im the juggernaut bitch

[johnny]

Wow, now I'm smashed, I can't believe what I post when i'm sober.

[nicklouse]

very interesting read,

i think we have seen a side of Jonny that was not apparent to us who have not met him.

[Dumbellina]

Johnny you forgot the trail rides south of the Harbour Bridge - Menai, Royal NP, Helensburg, etc.


You should come south some time to experience good old style c'untry hospitality.

[Plow King]

Johnny you forgot the trail rides south of the Harbour Bridge - Menai, Royal NP, Helensburg, etc.


You should come south some time to experience good old style c'untry hospitality.


*gets out banjo* Ye huhe, com'on down. our cousins are perdy.

[chriscross]

*gets out banjo* Ye huhe, com'on down. our cousins are perdy.

sydney isn't that far south.... now around mittagong. (i can say that because the old man lives there. and sorry charlton this isn't aimed at you or your family.) thats the place to be

[JaRedy]

I dont even know who this guy is...
it's too long

[Dozer]

I dont even know who this guy is...
it's too long

Every section of farkin has been "Johnnyised". He has cult status around these parts and he is a very valued member of farkin.
I'm sure your paths will cross one day....................;)

[scblack]

I dont even know who this guy is...
it's too long
No-one knows who you are...

and no-one cares........:rolleyes:

[Drizz]

I'm sure your paths will cross one day....................;)

Wondered who waved that banning stick? A self fulfilling prophecy?
;)