Dozer
28-06-2007, 07:50 AM
That's right, you've all been waiting to read it and here it is. A Meet The Farkers interview with one of Farkin's most renowned characters.........ladies and germs, meet Ryan!
Who are you? (Name, age, job etc)
Ryan Gardiner, 24, Phys-Ed teacher, freelance MTB journo, Farkin.net admin.
Flat..... (http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/img88683mq4.jpg)
http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/img88683mq4.jpg
Why did you become a member of Farkin?
I’m an O.G. with a 2003 join date. To cut a long story with lots of drama, intrigue and sexual ambiguity short, I heard about the site through our long-departed admin Dom around the time that he and I were toying with the idea of starting up our own news / reviews site to replace the now-defunct didnotfinish.com. Basically Dom found a site that was already doing everything we wanted to do and better so I grabbed on like a leech and haven’t let go since.
Is being part of farkin’s administration a high paying job?
Undoubtedly, I sleep atop of a mountain of $50 dollar bills and beer cartons surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women. It’s also a little-known fact that every Farkin admin gets three secret murders during their tenure. I’ve already used up one and have the second reserved for toodles in case he ever turns on us.
What are some of your highlights of your time on farkin?
Definitely getting to meet a host of rad characters in real life who I always thought were dickheads on the internet, like Squidly for example. I’ve also enjoyed the opportunity to generally abuse my admin privileges to seek petty revenge on those who’ve slighted me, blagging media access to various events and getting to review sick bikes and gear.
What are the lowlights?
Dealing with idiots and starting beef with people I’ve never actually met who happen to take the internet far too seriously.
When a member posts something unacceptable or plain dumb, what prompts you to hit them with the banning stick?
Unlike most of the other mods and admins I have very little faith in dipshits or the chance of rehabilitating them through gentle prodding or polite PMs. In essence, if someone posts something unacceptable or plain dumb the things that motivate me most to ban them are the fact that I can and the fact that it takes far fewer keystrokes than writing them a PM or giving them some pansy-arse red card / yellow card.
When you read some of the posts that members submit, do you try to picture them as a nice person doing no harm or a complete and utter idiot who shares his / her brain with an empty bag of potato chips?
Thinking of them as human only makes it more likely that I’ll take pity on them. Pity is weakness. That’s not something I can allow if I’m going to maintain my edge.
Does the private “admin only” section of farkin serve donuts and fresh coffee?
Yep, donuts, coffee and hookers. Mostly hookers.
What members of farkin are very close to the edge of banning? (A chance to let them have it in public here mate! Wink)
At the moment I’m definitely considering banning Johnny for his own good before he posts something that brings him to the attention of the Chinese authorities. In reality no-ones really ever close to being banned by me, there are no shades of grey.
You are handing over your riding knowledge to younger people at school……….
That’s right; once a term we take 15 kids out riding on the local legal trails in Gap Creek Reserve. Last year we introduced about 60 new kids to the sport and this year we’ll hopefully introduce the same number again.
You are taking the plunge and getting married……..
I’ve been with my partner Phillipa for seven years now and I’ve finally manned-up and put a ring on her finger. I know it sounds unbelievably clichéd but she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t wait to make her my wife.
What riding styles do you partake in?
I consider myself a downhiller first and foremost because it’s what I started out doing and what I still enjoy doing the most. I also ride XC, BMX street and park and have even hucked a few things in my time which probably technically makes me a freerider :rolleyes:
If you could resurrect the career of some farkin members who have been permanently banned, who would they be and what purpose would they serve on farkin?
I’d resurrect rooks just to tell him what an idiot he was, let others generally abuse and mock him again and then re-ban him.
What would the best race weekend entail for you?
Actually placing better than mid-pack in Expert. Without getting on your dick too much, round 3 of the IXS Gravity Series in Coffs Harbour was pretty much the perfect race weekend in my books; fast rego, fast shuttles, rad track, awesome atmosphere, minimal crashes, mid-pack finish, on-track nudity, after-party. All good.
Railing (http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/IMG_0168.jpg)
http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/IMG_0168.jpg
What is it that makes Australian riders so good all over the world?
The innate competitiveness of the average Australian male combined with a healthy dose of mates who will mercilessly hang shit on you no matter how well you perform thereby keeping you grounded coupled with generally dry, loose, dusty conditions that help to breed exceptional cornering skills compared to most of the rest of the world.
Best and worst riding moments?
A single best moment is impossible to pin down, but the best feeling for me is any time I do something that shows me that my riding has progressed, be it landing a new trick for the first time, cleaning a new set of jumps or pinning a run right on the ragged edge of control. Worst is far easier to pin down; I binned it over the back of a berm and down into a reasonably deep gully in order to give a large boulder an almighty elbow drop. The boulder won and my elbow was compound fractured, that arm still doesn’t go completely straight.
How do you see the Aussie mountain bike scene changing in the future?
I definitely see the freeride scene continuing to grow and more competitions being held in that arena for better or worse. Personally I hope that we move towards “big mountain” style slopestyle contests in this country like the courses at Monster Park and to a lesser extent Crankworx but in my heart I know it will probably be skatepark, dirt jumps and possibly smaller-scale slopestyle events.
The race scene is also going to continue to grow which I’m definitely more enthused about. The National Series is already starting to implement split-practice and other initiatives to deal with rider numbers and I’m certain that in a lot of states we’ll see similar measures introduced to cope with increased attendance. Hopefully this will lead to more 2-day race weekends and an increase in pre-registration only events.
What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?
I once caught a possum by hand when I was walking home drunk from a toga party at college. That bastard fucked me all kinds of up. Tore my hand and forearm to shreds. I got an infection from him and all of the skin where he’d bitten / scratched me died and peeled off.
What are some of the useless facts about farkin that people don’t really need to know?
Our beloved leader Scott is actually a farkin fast rider and is so white that he’s nearly see-through. Of the 3 original admins he’s also the only one left and I’m the sole survivor of admins 2.0. Squidly can block out the sun with his nose and is the most factory looking man you’re ever likely to see. Looking the part is 99% of riding fast kids and don’t you forget it. There are secret forums where we plot your demise and laugh at your misfortune. Toodles owns a rapist van and is on a strict training regime of vodka, pies, Gaytimes and XBOX to try and beat me in Expert. We just passed 1,000,000 posts on the forums. We have about 22,000 members of which about 1/3 are considered active. We’ve banned 426 people in the last 4 years, approximately 1 every 3-4 days and you could be next if you dare to question us!
Tell us a joke……
What’s that? You want me to start a shitfight? Well, it’s not usually my style but here it goes; “Pro” street MTB riding. I have no beef with anyone out there riding street or park on their MTB for fun and some of my very best friends still do it, but the level of street and park riding at the pro level is a joke as far as I’m concerned. We need to develop our own style and start really hitting lines that aren’t accessible to BMX bikes if we’re ever going to push street MTB in the direction it should be heading.
See? I told you Ryan was a bloody nice bloke! You all thought he prowled the forums looking for victims to take his frustrations out on...........:rolleyes:
Who are you? (Name, age, job etc)
Ryan Gardiner, 24, Phys-Ed teacher, freelance MTB journo, Farkin.net admin.
Flat..... (http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/img88683mq4.jpg)
http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/img88683mq4.jpg
Why did you become a member of Farkin?
I’m an O.G. with a 2003 join date. To cut a long story with lots of drama, intrigue and sexual ambiguity short, I heard about the site through our long-departed admin Dom around the time that he and I were toying with the idea of starting up our own news / reviews site to replace the now-defunct didnotfinish.com. Basically Dom found a site that was already doing everything we wanted to do and better so I grabbed on like a leech and haven’t let go since.
Is being part of farkin’s administration a high paying job?
Undoubtedly, I sleep atop of a mountain of $50 dollar bills and beer cartons surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women. It’s also a little-known fact that every Farkin admin gets three secret murders during their tenure. I’ve already used up one and have the second reserved for toodles in case he ever turns on us.
What are some of your highlights of your time on farkin?
Definitely getting to meet a host of rad characters in real life who I always thought were dickheads on the internet, like Squidly for example. I’ve also enjoyed the opportunity to generally abuse my admin privileges to seek petty revenge on those who’ve slighted me, blagging media access to various events and getting to review sick bikes and gear.
What are the lowlights?
Dealing with idiots and starting beef with people I’ve never actually met who happen to take the internet far too seriously.
When a member posts something unacceptable or plain dumb, what prompts you to hit them with the banning stick?
Unlike most of the other mods and admins I have very little faith in dipshits or the chance of rehabilitating them through gentle prodding or polite PMs. In essence, if someone posts something unacceptable or plain dumb the things that motivate me most to ban them are the fact that I can and the fact that it takes far fewer keystrokes than writing them a PM or giving them some pansy-arse red card / yellow card.
When you read some of the posts that members submit, do you try to picture them as a nice person doing no harm or a complete and utter idiot who shares his / her brain with an empty bag of potato chips?
Thinking of them as human only makes it more likely that I’ll take pity on them. Pity is weakness. That’s not something I can allow if I’m going to maintain my edge.
Does the private “admin only” section of farkin serve donuts and fresh coffee?
Yep, donuts, coffee and hookers. Mostly hookers.
What members of farkin are very close to the edge of banning? (A chance to let them have it in public here mate! Wink)
At the moment I’m definitely considering banning Johnny for his own good before he posts something that brings him to the attention of the Chinese authorities. In reality no-ones really ever close to being banned by me, there are no shades of grey.
You are handing over your riding knowledge to younger people at school……….
That’s right; once a term we take 15 kids out riding on the local legal trails in Gap Creek Reserve. Last year we introduced about 60 new kids to the sport and this year we’ll hopefully introduce the same number again.
You are taking the plunge and getting married……..
I’ve been with my partner Phillipa for seven years now and I’ve finally manned-up and put a ring on her finger. I know it sounds unbelievably clichéd but she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t wait to make her my wife.
What riding styles do you partake in?
I consider myself a downhiller first and foremost because it’s what I started out doing and what I still enjoy doing the most. I also ride XC, BMX street and park and have even hucked a few things in my time which probably technically makes me a freerider :rolleyes:
If you could resurrect the career of some farkin members who have been permanently banned, who would they be and what purpose would they serve on farkin?
I’d resurrect rooks just to tell him what an idiot he was, let others generally abuse and mock him again and then re-ban him.
What would the best race weekend entail for you?
Actually placing better than mid-pack in Expert. Without getting on your dick too much, round 3 of the IXS Gravity Series in Coffs Harbour was pretty much the perfect race weekend in my books; fast rego, fast shuttles, rad track, awesome atmosphere, minimal crashes, mid-pack finish, on-track nudity, after-party. All good.
Railing (http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/IMG_0168.jpg)
http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t317/dhdozer/IMG_0168.jpg
What is it that makes Australian riders so good all over the world?
The innate competitiveness of the average Australian male combined with a healthy dose of mates who will mercilessly hang shit on you no matter how well you perform thereby keeping you grounded coupled with generally dry, loose, dusty conditions that help to breed exceptional cornering skills compared to most of the rest of the world.
Best and worst riding moments?
A single best moment is impossible to pin down, but the best feeling for me is any time I do something that shows me that my riding has progressed, be it landing a new trick for the first time, cleaning a new set of jumps or pinning a run right on the ragged edge of control. Worst is far easier to pin down; I binned it over the back of a berm and down into a reasonably deep gully in order to give a large boulder an almighty elbow drop. The boulder won and my elbow was compound fractured, that arm still doesn’t go completely straight.
How do you see the Aussie mountain bike scene changing in the future?
I definitely see the freeride scene continuing to grow and more competitions being held in that arena for better or worse. Personally I hope that we move towards “big mountain” style slopestyle contests in this country like the courses at Monster Park and to a lesser extent Crankworx but in my heart I know it will probably be skatepark, dirt jumps and possibly smaller-scale slopestyle events.
The race scene is also going to continue to grow which I’m definitely more enthused about. The National Series is already starting to implement split-practice and other initiatives to deal with rider numbers and I’m certain that in a lot of states we’ll see similar measures introduced to cope with increased attendance. Hopefully this will lead to more 2-day race weekends and an increase in pre-registration only events.
What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?
I once caught a possum by hand when I was walking home drunk from a toga party at college. That bastard fucked me all kinds of up. Tore my hand and forearm to shreds. I got an infection from him and all of the skin where he’d bitten / scratched me died and peeled off.
What are some of the useless facts about farkin that people don’t really need to know?
Our beloved leader Scott is actually a farkin fast rider and is so white that he’s nearly see-through. Of the 3 original admins he’s also the only one left and I’m the sole survivor of admins 2.0. Squidly can block out the sun with his nose and is the most factory looking man you’re ever likely to see. Looking the part is 99% of riding fast kids and don’t you forget it. There are secret forums where we plot your demise and laugh at your misfortune. Toodles owns a rapist van and is on a strict training regime of vodka, pies, Gaytimes and XBOX to try and beat me in Expert. We just passed 1,000,000 posts on the forums. We have about 22,000 members of which about 1/3 are considered active. We’ve banned 426 people in the last 4 years, approximately 1 every 3-4 days and you could be next if you dare to question us!
Tell us a joke……
What’s that? You want me to start a shitfight? Well, it’s not usually my style but here it goes; “Pro” street MTB riding. I have no beef with anyone out there riding street or park on their MTB for fun and some of my very best friends still do it, but the level of street and park riding at the pro level is a joke as far as I’m concerned. We need to develop our own style and start really hitting lines that aren’t accessible to BMX bikes if we’re ever going to push street MTB in the direction it should be heading.
See? I told you Ryan was a bloody nice bloke! You all thought he prowled the forums looking for victims to take his frustrations out on...........:rolleyes: