Farkin Funny Lines!

[Grip]

You've all seen 'em... those one-liners here in the forums that make you crack up.

Nominate your favourites.

KEEP IT SIMPLE... no need for quotes of the ENTIRE thread... just a "so-and-so wrote... such-and-such" and then "whatshisname replied..."

for example....

I got a payment for my written off 120Y.

and

What did you spend the $50 on? :lol:


And remember... this thread is ONLY for Farkin Funny Lines... not to discuss the ins and outs of when, where and how it was said. Quotes of funny lines only please... and keep the conversations to PM's & MSN. Thanks

[Superman]

S. wrote something along the lines of : Remember that wanker from the nsmb forums, this reminds me of him.

Someone wrote something stupid:___________

S. replied with: Speak of the devil.

i found that one pretty funny

[Misplaced]

Techo Destructo wrote:
Sigh...... Take a break Socket, you dont have to dispute everything you see on Farkin.

S. wrote
Yes I do!

[MikeT]

Hay if it has a hole why NOT!

lol i like it ahahah

[Bobo]

n e holes a goal :wink:

[Ride_Guy]

my sig that gave me a bit of a laugh...

[Grip]

n e holes a goal :wink:

Enjoy...
http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_thumbnail.php?pic_id=1800 (http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_pic.php?pic_id=1800)



z

[Misplaced]

We have a winner!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: (why isnt there a smiley for falling off your chair?)

[Bobo]

Enjoy...
http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_thumbnail.php?pic_id=1800 (http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_pic.php?pic_id=1800)



z

doesnt every one rape there bike :lol: like comon its a rampage u would rape ur bike all night :P

ive met amphetamine crazed zebras that make more sense then that :?

ther for it mayb b a good 1 2night :wink: just have to stok up on the grease

[Tomas]

Grip: dragged behind a car or somthing?

[Grip]

ther for it mayb b a good 1 2night :wink: just have to stok up on the grease

You know what? No matter how hard I try I just can't come up with anything to say about this.




Grip: dragged behind a car or somthing?

About half a km I was told. Worst part of it... the guys OTHER bike fell off too!
http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_thumbnail.php?pic_id=1801 (http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_pic.php?pic_id=1801)

[Rik]

You know what? No matter how hard I try I just can't come up with anything to say about this.
I think he's got his eye on the cable stops. Seems about the right size.

[blitzem]

Instinctual said : went to the race in brookfield on the weekend with a friend and my girlfriend, and in walking to the event and passing a carpark, I saw a bike rack like my friends. So of course I say, "hey look, it has a rack like yours", my girlfriend turns round and gives me the dirtiest look. I pissed myself,

Then Peachy Said : nice, one time i walked past an ice cream store and i said "wow its ice cream" and my dog looked at me. cool huh?

Then Spuddy Said : Imagine if... YOUR DOGS NAME WAS ICE CREAM!!

I thought this was the funniest thing ever.! :)

[Bobo]

ther for it mayb b a good 1 2night :wink: just have to stok up on the grease

You know what? No matter how hard I try I just can't come up with anything to say about this.



Try harder! i am :shock:

[bazza]

roms mean 1ft kickers. oh yeah. and the random picture thread. that one was awesome. i think the physcadelic chicken should be the farkin mascot for shutting down threads.

[Grip]

Hey Vlad.... I do like your sig though :lol:

[Bobo]

:roll: So i guess gettin that bike was one hell of a kick but do i get another prizes or somthin :twisted:

[toodles]

Woohoo! Celebrity status!

Erm.. still trying to find some quotes but the "simpsons are gay" thread was absolute gold...

[igothp]

o dear... will we ever get a straight answer out of you steve?
No, I only talk homo.
-Class

[shauno]

looks awesome what are you intending to so on the new ride
ride it?
hehehehe

[igothp]

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 7:42 pm
If it is possible to go to sleep at 7.30..

lol :oops:

[Tomas]

[quote="Rom"]I can do a pretty mean 1ft kicker. [quote]


:roll:

No need to go looking at that damn thread.

[Byatch]

ride-guy: thats up there for me too

or manny's old quote
some noob says: "what is the best bike in the world?" (there may of been some more capitals in there, not too sure now)

spuddy says: 2003 Kona stuff.
NOW F**K OFF

Then it was locked, forever preserving the moment.

[sawtell]

i would have to say some of the most funniset posts would be in http://www.farkin.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=16500&postdays=0&postorder=asc&hig hlight=cock&start=25 the one about the duncan cock frame.. there not one liners but i thought they were bloody hilarious :lol:

"So howdya get to work mate?" "I rode my Iguana, but I've got nice black cock. Oh yeah the other day my Iguana got stolen, so I had to ride a Giant Butte to work. But speaking of those, I hate those bloody Giant Boulders that you always have to dodge on the way to the city. Those Giant Boulders shouldn't be allowed on the roads"


Oh yeah I heard you gotta whatch the seals on the stock forks. A mate said that after 20 minutes or so of riding, his cock exploded, and fluid started spewing everywhere.

there is plenty more where they came from but i thoguht i better shut up, berfore i stop annoying people.. :P

[MikeT]

"So howdya get to work mate?" "I rode my Iguana, but I've got nice black cock. Oh yeah the other day my Iguana got stolen, so I had to ride a Giant Butte to work. But speaking of those, I hate those bloody Giant Boulders that you always have to dodge on the way to the city. Those Giant Boulders shouldn't be allowed on the roads"




thats a great one liner right there

[sawtell]

some one said:what is the best rim?
i said: apprently the round ones work well.

well i am pretty sure i said it i cant find the post but.. :(
might of dreamed the hole thing

[manny24]

ride-guy: thats up there for me too

or manny's old quote
some noob says: "what is the best bike in the world?" (there may of been some more capitals in there, not too sure now)

spuddy says: 2003 Kona stuff.
NOW F**K OFF

Then it was locked, forever preserving the moment.

yep, twasd a great nite when that was posted. spuddys prompt reply to it was absolutely priceless. i was on the floor in tears for hours!!!




... well, giggling on my chair for 2 minutes anyway :wink:

[Commander Dilsnikk]

"Camo is stronger..."

[tu plang]

hate to blow my own trumpet but i really loved this one.


and yeh red is fast.... thats why I buy red condoms

... so that you go fast
to be honest i dont think thats what girls look for...

oh and this one :oops:
You could probably afford something a little more exotic/non-massed produced for $2600. If i were you i would buy a nice new frame, than build it up with new condition 2nd hand parts - you could really get something pimp.

... the sort that matty and lotec sell regularly

[dromana7411]

Trust me

Dad told me not to trust people with mullets

-Sean

in the phat snaps... of your car thread

[spuddy]

Just found this little gem..

i wouldn't want a bike that rides like my mum, very small, asian, weak, slow speed.

peachys comment about tuplangs sister was hilarious

nice bike dude, looks sex hot.... the bike that is.... not your sister... well ok... your sisters cute too....... ok fine..... I WANNA DO HER IN THE BUTT!

:lol: good times..
sorry tuplang.

[johnny]

peachys comment about tuplangs sister was hilarious

nice bike dude, looks sex hot.... the bike that is.... not your sister... well ok... your sisters cute too....... ok fine..... I WANNA DO HER IN THE BUTT!

:lol: good times..
sorry tuplang.

The ensuing S. is a fag series was full of these little gems. One I can remember was posted after someone put up a pic of their sister and was simply: "I'd hit it"!

Sorry S. and whose ever sister it was!

[Grip]

Guys... this thread is ONLY for Farkin Funny Lines... not to discuss the ins and outs of when, where and how it was said. Quotes of funny lines only please... and keep the conversations to PM's & MSN. Thanks

[S.]

ahahaha here's a great one from Johnny, I pissed myself when I saw this:


PS, who was it that I was extolling the virtues of ambidexterous (sp?) wanking techniques to? Whoever you are, I rest my case :lol:

Doesn't that count as a "muscle strengthening exercise" though? :|

Brother, if I ever need physio advice, I'm comin to you!!

Emphasis on advice, not treatment :shock:

[®ider]

. :?:

[Superman]

Saddle
Item: Assmaster 5000 (no-name) with bent rails in 2 axis and 'kelvar' corners :? i wouldnt use it, but someone might have a need....

Assmaster 5000

[Grip]

yeah ther like in ther teens doin pills n shit, fkin sikens me(exuse me lung) but it really does!
me fail english, thatz unpossible :!:

[VicRiders]

pfft firstly 100mph nothin... 2nd who uses motor boats theis days there so gay!!

*note friends boat all wooden sweet as cloks just over 145mph

so u just said they are gay, now u say that ure cool coz ure friends got one??? WTF!?

[SPOON]

and big FART cans on the stock exhaust system
Lol i never thought of it as being a fart can heehee. At the time i found it funny...then again, i think i was slightly high. meh...

[Dicky]

the term 'freeriders' dates back to the late 90's and was coined by Cannondale (I think) to describe a new market segment they were trying to introduce. What's worse they then went and protected the word so no other company could use it. Rocky Mountain's response was to put together a team knowen as the 'Fro Riders', which was hysterically funny when you saw them. This has happened again with the new term 'all mountain'. Thus calling yourself a 'freerider' is just buying into some lame arse, out of date, crap marketing ploy.

[Dicky]

all your sister are belong to us.

funny by itself, but if you know the reference it's a lot more amusing.

if you haven't seen the original, go looking for "all your base are belong to us". I think it's still floating around on NewGrounds.com.


aahhh nerding.... :lol:

[Dicky]

yep, i have returned. ..... so what's been happening?

The invasion of pre-teens that post useless/unrelated crap has intensified.

[Ryan]

And hey,at least i use rim tape :wink:


owned.

call an ambulance, it seems Rom has been hit by another bandwagon.

I'll pay that...

[Bobo]

he w i l l o n l y t a k e i t f o r a w e e k i t s N O T G O I N G T O K I L L H I M!!

I've never heard of that word before :?

[parallax]

do you want the earth to retain a stable orbit around your arse ?I think he would much prefer the trajectory to be in and out.
hi-larious!!

[toodles]

said the fire had been inadvertently set by a worker who was cutting down a metal fence with a chainsaw.

Right tool for the job, NOT (in more ways than one)

[Grip]

Actually... when you think about it... Toodle's sig is pretty bloody funny too!

[Bonnet]

going thru some old post i found this, its in relation to shaving ones legs, and how high should one shave....

All the way up. Just leaving a little on the inside for equipment comfort. Don't want stubble in the swinging zone......I am not Italian and don't wear a gold chain around my thighs.

offending topic = http://www.farkin.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=11449&postdays=0&postorder=asc&sta rt=25

[johnny]

S. wrote to some one with an opinion:
Your horse looks pretty tall, would you like a hand to get off it?

[Technica]

all your sister are belong to us.

funny by itself, but if you know the reference it's a lot more amusing.

if you haven't seen the original, go looking for "all your base are belong to us". I think it's still floating around on NewGrounds.com.


aahhh nerding.... :lol:

HAHA yes dicky its still there at new grounds

..... i will return with a quote soon ....

[S.]

S. wrote to some one with an opinion:
Your horse looks pretty tall, would you like a hand to get off it?

Oi! There WAS a reason I said it... not just because somebody was voicing an opinion ;)

[johnny]

S. wrote to some one with an opinion:
Your horse looks pretty tall, would you like a hand to get off it?

Oi! There WAS a reason I said it... not just because somebody was voicing an opinion ;)


Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story :lol:

[Ell]

just found this little beaut lurking around...

looks kinda like a copy of a giant dh comp

You're right, it's nearly identical. The only thing that is different is everything.

http://www.farkin.net/forums/album_pic.php?pic_id=10948
OWNED!

[donthucktoflat]

there's nothing wrong with a brazillian on me- makes me go faster
daver, is there something you're not telling us?

[johnny]

S. wrote:
- it's not maths.

Wombat retorted;
Read: "I'm way out of my league"


Sorry S. I don't mean to be picking on you (being that this is the second time I've posted a comment of yours) I guess we just frequent the same threads.

[S.]

bring it
i don't hit women

[S.]

Yeah good point. Sorry, feel free to delete all my OT posts :oops:
And have your profile look like this:

All About johnny
Joined: 26 Mar 2004
Total posts: 3
[0.00% of total / 0.01 posts per day]

[Rik]

Ahh good work S. there's nothing quite like a man that can give it as good as he takes it.

[S.]

[to matty_2004, who was deciding if he should keep or upgrade his frame]make sure you ride both bikes at least once before you decide!

[Jordy]

[to matty_2004, who was deciding if he should keep or upgrade his frame]make sure you ride both bikes at least once before you decide!

I dont get it ?

[tu plang]

he's having a go at the amount matty actually rides his bike.

[S.]

ahahahaha I just got rolled with
you notice i didn't call the thread "once a months enough" so you know it's not about your underwear S.
it's not called "once a years enough" so it's not about your sexual exploits either.

[W2ttsy]

i jsut got rolled with this classic from Rhyno

i wear a pair of 515 levis. they ar the widest leg jean i could find. my armour sitis nicely under them, and when i walk into stores and stuff, i dont get "omg he's wearing armour, he looks like darth vader" stares.

although, i get some weird looks when i ask if the jean leg will be wide enough to fit armour.

if the weather looks to be wet, i will ride in shorts, cos jeans + water = gay wet mess.

W2ttsy
you expect a shop assistant to know what armour is let alone if it will fit
"excuse me miss, does this fit armour"
"I'm not sure sir galahad, i'll just check the manufacturers specifications"
"Thankyou miss"
"Sir, it says here that it will only fit dianese and roach armour, is that ok?"
"Bah, what is the world of clothes manufacturing coming to if it wont fit my 661's!!!"

Seriosly dude can't you tell?

and this fine one

woah, the tosa looks really really interesting and sexy built up

would anyone know how the cock or the tosa rides, i'd be really interested to find out more.

W2ttsy

[road warrior]

what is rolled? Is this like some internet buzz word?

[W2ttsy]

what is rolled? Is this like some internet buzz word?

same premise as owned.

basically, you say something stupid, someone picks up on it, and then makes fun of you for it.

W2ttsy

[johnny]

:D
Note: putting in a reply with a smiley only is a good way to land yourself on the shit list.
:P

Beautiful in all it's simplicity.

[toodles]

From Hcor.net forums - funniest thing I've read in a forum thread yet.

Subject: Need help regarding a life changing decision

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the street although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girl. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my bike infront of my apartment which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my bike that I noticed rust around my rear wheel pivot bolt.

Should I take it into a bike repair shop or should I buy some stuff from the local bike shop and try to repair it myself?

[Tomas]

Gad damn thats funny toodles..... :D :D :D


One that gave me a laugh, someone has it as their sig i think:

when you say your setup is a bit whack,


is it wiggidy whack or just the regular kind?

[Kona.S.P]

This was a reply to the topic STP posted about DC's on a HT

what are you, retarded?
were you dropped as a child? repeatedly? on your head?
your parents aren't close relations to each other are they?

:lol:

[danv]

All is lost. Quit school go on the dole smoke cones throw your life away. There is no coming back from a vicious rumour spread about you on the internet lol
Context. (http://www.farkin.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=22161&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)

[johnny]

Most of the time I feel lonely and dejected for I don't think I belong in today's world........but every now and then something like this comes along and makes it worthwhile being here.

Thanks Toodles.

From Hcor.net forums - funniest thing I've read in a forum thread yet.

Subject: Need help regarding a life changing decision

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the street although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girl. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my bike infront of my apartment which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my bike that I noticed rust around my rear wheel pivot bolt.

Should I take it into a bike repair shop or should I buy some stuff from the local bike shop and try to repair it myself?

[®ider]

my sig

[Joel O]

did some one who works for ipod steal your bike or some thing naz cause you really got it in for them :lol:
i thought this one was pretty funny.