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Blonde kid on Morphine
09-10-2005, 07:19 PM
Just got this in an email, and thought it a good laugh to share.

A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet know to science - "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons that are further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like sub particles called peons.

Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected however since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it take days.

Governmentium has a normal half life of three years. It doesn't decay but "re- organizes", a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow as in the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.

This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons meet in concentration forming critical morass. Researches believe that in Governmentium, the more you re- organize, the morass you cover.


hope you enjoyed it as much as I did,
Tim.

fattyandthepiemakers
09-10-2005, 07:34 PM
Its funny because its true. :D Good old Johnny

cheese
09-10-2005, 09:58 PM
Hahaha thats quality stuff.

wtr
09-10-2005, 10:14 PM
Haha, sure was a great sunday night read.;)



An atom without electrons? Hmmm..

But I'm pretty convinced that the Governmentium can form a cofreetradevalent bond with Americium...

johnny
09-10-2005, 10:35 PM
Beautiful.

Posted it on my politics forum too.

manny24
10-10-2005, 12:26 AM
Beautiful.

Posted it on my politics forum too.


johnny mate, id hate to ever be a same bbq\pissup with you, im pretty sure what the topic of conversation would be ALL night... :D :p