If capital punishment were law...

[Dumbellina]

This is a light-hearted thread - not intended to be a debate on capital punishment.

What minor crimes, misdemeanours, summary offences, inconveniences,etc would you have the person duly executed, and the mode of execution?

I have three to start off:

(1) people who don't look before enter roundabouts - those idiots who blindly enter the roundabout regardless that you are already in it and have right of way and then expect you to give way. Mode of execution - chain them to the bonnet of their cars with a blindfold on and drive over them in a monster truck.

(2) people who let their dogs shit on cycleways - and the shit covers your clothes, bag, bike and you smell for the rest of the day. Mode of execution - lace the dog's faeces with thalium and make them eat it...

(3) people who park over the entrances/exits to cycleways. Mode of execution - see (1).

Any other suggestions...

[Fatman]

I must admit I have thought in moments of psychosis, that everyone should be allowed at least one execution per week.:p

People who cut in line. Death of a thousand cuts.

Taxi drivers, especially the ones that cut up traffic. Fill their plastic booths with hornets.

Nazi bushwalkers that fell trees on singletrack and put down spiked boards. Splay them out and grow bamboo shoots beneath them.

Hard bastard homey gangsta wannabes. Send them to the real ghetto without their phones so no calls to mummy or their cousins.

Gosh there are so many, it's lucky the medication they give me quells the rage inside.:D
Zoloft and Prozac for all.

[Pete J]

Gosh there are so many, it's lucky the medication they give me quells the rage inside.:D
Zoloft and Prozac for all.

I disagree, Xanax is the greatest! :D

I think people who don't reply when you say hello to their face should be severely punished!! :mad: What up with that shit??
And people who talk constantly during movies, or each with their muths open!!! I can feel the RAGE building up inside of me now!!!!!!!!!! :mad: :mad:
And then people who use exclamation marks excessively .......... oops! :o

[R33F]

(2) people who let their dogs shit on cycleways - and the shit covers your clothes, bag, bike and you smell for the rest of the day. Mode of execution - lace the dog's faeces with thalium and make them eat it...

a/ People who don't pick up there dogs shit on the beach, or any public "leash free area" for that matter. they should be made to eat it.

b/Drivers who will not move out of the Right Hand Lanes on freeways and motorways, should be run off the road "Mad Max Style" and left to rot.

c/ Dickheads who have there stereo that loud at traffic lights that I cant hear a thing even with my window up. These punters should have their hands removed so they cant use the "volume control".

d/People who use prams as battering rams in que's. I havnt thought up a suitable punishment yet.

e/Drivers who park over the white / yellow line in carparks making it all but impossible to get into a carpark space.


I could go on for hours, and hours, and hours.

[PINT of Stella, mate!]

I feel the following crimes and punishments should be taken into consideration

1: Getting ones information about the world from the Herald Sun(and interstate equivalents), Daily Mail (for the UK) A Current Affair, Today Tonight and 60 minutes.

Method of Execution: Tied to the ground and trampled to death by the swarms of bloodthirsty islamic jihad chanting asylum seekers trying to storm the borders!

2: Anybody who works in Marketing and/or Advertising:

M.O.E: All guilty parties to be auctioned off to an audience of freelance vivisectionists, black market organ dealers and slave traders.

3: Failure to understand simple requests from somebody with a foreign accent who comes from a country where the fucking english language was invented!

M.O.E: Not quite a capital crime for a first offence, however offenders should be forced to sit in a darkened room wearing headphones that block out all sound other than tape loops of Trainspotting and Rab C Nesbitt. Repeat offenders will be shot!

This I feel could decimate Australia's hospitality industry, however in the long run it'll be a good thing as it'll be possible to ask for a pint of lager and be served a pint rather than a 'pot'!

[Dumbellina]

What about taxi drivers who say "twenty five dollars" for the fare and the machine says $18 (or those who clear the machine before you've seen it)? Mode of execution: also fill their cabins with hornets or european wasps

[NeBoS]

Just a few things:

- On the bus, people who sit in the isle seat and leave their bag on the window seat so noone can sit down:mad:


- People who dont flush public toilets (or any toilet for that matter) - use it - flush it. Its a little hard to police though...


- Garbage, oh garbage. Listen people, if you go to the beach, PICK UP YOUR FUCKING RUBBISH!!!! And the same goes for smokers and their fucking butts - in the bin got it! Im forever picking up garbage at my local beach. Damn man!



Arg, some people eh:rolleyes:

[Dumbellina]

Just a few things:

- On the bus, people who sit in the isle seat and leave their bag on the window seat so noone can sit down:mad:


- People who dont flush public toilets (or any toilet for that matter) - use it - flush it. Its a little hard to police though...


- Garbage, oh garbage. Listen people, if you go to the beach, PICK UP YOUR FUCKING RUBBISH!!!! And the same goes for smokers and their fucking butts - in the bin got it! Im forever picking up garbage at my local beach. Damn man!



Arg, some people eh:rolleyes:

What mode of execution would you suggest for each heinous crime?

[NeBoS]

What mode of execution would you suggest for each heinous crime?

Dont know about execution, but I reckon electric-shock therapy would do wonders for the community!:p

[Adrian]

On a serious note;

Anyone who sexually assaults someone else should be overdosed on blood-thinning agents and ceremoniously bled to death through a small incision in their genitals.

Anybody who thinks that they have a higher right to life than the next person should be skinned alive, rolled down a hill of stinging nettles and cowshit and then forced to beg on the streets for the money for their funeral.

Corrupt corporate citizens should be allowed to continue their ways - on the condition that once a month their names are put in a hat, and first ten who are drawn are publicly executed, and the rest publicly flogged. (archaic but effective)

[NeBoS]

I just found this funny (very odd) website about this girls school that still uses the cane and strap - thats pretty fucked-up i reckon - their serious!http://hardacre.screaming.net/punishments/punishments.html

[Dumbellina]

On a serious note;

Anyone who sexually assaults someone else should be overdosed on blood-thinning agents and ceremoniously bled to death through a small incision in their genitals.

Anybody who thinks that they have a higher right to life than the next person should be skinned alive, rolled down a hill of stinging nettles and cowshit and then forced to beg on the streets for the money for their funeral.

Corrupt corporate citizens should be allowed to continue their ways - on the condition that once a month their names are put in a hat, and first ten who are drawn are publicly executed, and the rest publicly flogged. (archaic but effective)

This is not supposed to be serious - that what the criminal courts are there for. But I like your cruel and unusual punishments ;)

Reckon the firewall at work will stop me see the above website - banned me from vide of last nights game as "sports".